EXCHANGE: Illinois mom tries to cope with death of daughter

EFFINGHAM, Ill. (AP) - Kaylee Jacob was 16 when a teenage friend messing around with a gun in the backseat of a car parked in Effingham accidentally shot her to death. Nearly a year later, the girl's mother said the pain still lingers - and she knows that it always will.

"Her death has forever changed my life and the lives of my other children," said Crystal Gonzalez. "We still talk about her constantly. There's not a second in the day that I don't think of her and wish she was here with us."

It's a story echoed across the state and nation. Forty-two times during a 2ˆ½-year span, a child was killed or injured in an accidental shooting in Illinois. An analysis by the Associated Press and the USA TODAY Network of every accidental shooting death and injury involving children ages 17 and younger in the U.S. during that span found more than 1,000 incidents in all.

Kaylee Jacob's family, of course, will remember her as much more than a statistic in that study.

As the teen sat in the passenger seat of the car on Oct. 18, 2015, a 15-year-old boy took out a gun, removed the magazine, pointed it at her, and pulled the trigger - not knowing there was still a bullet in the chamber.

The Effingham Daily News has not named the boy because of his age. He pleaded guilty in juvenile court to involuntary manslaughter and possession of a stolen firearm. He had stolen the gun from a pickup truck in the Lake Sara area shortly before the fatal shooting, authorities said.

Gonzalez, who lives in Mattoon, said she still feels indescribable pain at the loss of the second-oldest of her five children.

"There's no way of explaining the hurt I feel in my heart for the loss of my oldest baby girl," she said. "I'm not sure I'll ever be the same and it hurts to know that feeling the way I do affects my other children.

"So, I try to be strong for them," she added. "I'm not sure how well I'm doing on that but I like to think I'm doing ok."

Kaylee's father, Steve Jacob, who lives in Effingham, declined to be interviewed for this story. Kaylee had been living with him at the time of her death.

"I never thought I would lose her so soon," Steve Jacob told a judge before the teen shooter's sentencing. "I lost a piece of my heart I can never get back. I will never be there to walk her down the aisle. I will never be there for her first child. She will never get to fulfill her dream of becoming a doctor, or a mother."

Effingham County Circuit Court Judge Kimberly Koester ruled that the teen, 16 by the time he was sentenced in April, would serve time in a juvenile detention center, but cannot be held past his 21st birthday.

Gonzalez said Kaylee's father and the girl's older brother all feel the sting of that senseless loss.

"We're trying to stay positive and know that she wouldn't want any of us to mourn for her for as long as we have - mainly myself, her older brother and her father," she said.

Kaylee's youngest sibling is just 4, too young to understand their loss but old enough to remember his big sister.

"I will always speak of her to her younger siblings and tell them what a wonderful sister she was to them," Gonzalez said. "Zachary is 4 now, my youngest, and they were really close. He still speaks of her and remembers her in ways that put a smile on my face. I hope he always remembers and I'll try to make sure he does."

Gonzalez said she finds solace in her other children.

"My kids are my life and if it wasn't for the ones I still have living, I'm not sure I could have gone on with life," she said. "I still feel like it was yesterday when I lost her and can't believe it's coming up on 1 year.

"The days go by so fast it's unbelievable, even more so now that she's gone," she added. "Kaylee was a great girl and she will always and forever be loved and remembered."

Gonzalez said the loss of her daughter has definitely been a test of her faith.

"I just wish I could understand and ask God, 'Why?'," she said. "I don't pray any more, as I used to every night."

She paused a moment, when asked about those nightly prayers.

"I would pray that God would keep my kids safe, watch over and protect them," she said. "I lost a lot of faith that I had, and I'm not sure if that will ever come back."

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Source: Effingham Daily News, http://bit.ly/2drQV2o

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Information from: Effingham Daily News, http://www.effinghamdailynews.com