Imrem: Beware what The Donald can do to the Chicago Cubs
Uh-oh, Mt. Donald blew again and hit close to home.
Donald Trump previously exploded all over his rivals for the GOP presidential nomination, bickered with the pope and threatened to send all cockatoos back to where they came from.
Now a simmering dispute could boil over into a beanball war that will make the Superman vs. Batman showdown seem like an opening act.
We're talking about two front-runners: Trump in the race to the GOP presidential nomination and the Ricketts family in the race to the World Series.
Marlene Ricketts, the Ricketts matriarch, reportedly donated big bucks toward preventing Trump from becoming the Republican nominee.
The Donald responded on Twitter, "I hear the Rickets family, who own the Chicago Cubs, are secretly spending $'s against me. They better be careful, they have a lot to hide!"
My goodness, what could the Ricketts have to hide? Is something or someone buried under Wrigley Field? Is Anthony Rizzo hanging out with Sammy Sosa or Pete Rose?
There must be some reason that Trump - as logical, rational and reasoned as he is - mentioned the Cubs in his tweet.
At the very least Trump is scheming for the White Sox vote in the Illinois primary.
Wait, please, Mr. Trump, don't tell Cubs fans that the Ricketts are hiding Kris Bryant's birth certificate because being otherworldly would make him ineligible for Major League Baseball.
Who knows how Trump might respond next if any of the Ricketts donate even bigger bucks to anti-Trump political action committees?
The Donald and his supporters might show up for the Cubs' home opener as professional hecklers.
"Hey, Russell, liar, liar, jockstrap on fire! Your first name is really '35th Street' and everyone knows it!" … "Hey, Heyward, you're a cheater! You cork your beard and everyone knows it!" … "Hey, Schwarber, uh, Schwarber, Schmarber, shut up and, uh, everyone knows it!"
Maybe the Cubs should build a wall around Wrigley Field to keep the Trumpsters out.
Trump might even fund his own super PAC - People Against Cubs - to tilt baseball's balance of power.
The Cardinals need another power hitter? Trump would buy them one. The Pirates need pitching depth? Trump would build them one.
As desperate as both parties are to win the presidency - sort of like Chicago sports teams desperately trying to win something - they might resort to anything wacky.
Like, until the GOP herd was culled, it looked like the Cubs trying the College of Coaches more than a half-century ago.
The Democrats? Think of Hillary Clinton as Marc Trestman and Bernie Sanders as Terry Bevington.
Seriously, this isn't about politics. It's about the Cubs trying to win a World Series for the first time since Teddy Roosevelt was in the White House.
For those of us who can't imagine the Cubs being champions after 107 years, surely something unforeseen is about to happen.
The Cubs might be struck down by a natural disaster. All of them all at once might leave baseball for the priesthood. The new clubhouse might feature chamber music before games.
Until proved otherwise, the Cubs are still the Cubs. Anything bad can happen. Trump might buy the club from Ricketts and deport all the players to Mexico.
You have heard of the goat jinx, the black-cat hex and the Bartman ball.
Now beware Trump voodoo.
mimrem@dailyherald.com