Editorial: Have a frank talk with your college-bound child

The end of the school year is near and for high school seniors and their parents, it's easy to look ahead at what's coming this fall - for many, enrollment at a school away from home.

Parents need to take the next few months to assess how their child might fare without their guidance and support.

Will your college freshman make good choices? Will he or she be able to handle the pressures by themselves? For two sets of parents, the answers to those questions were tragic.

Gary Bogenberger of Palatine is dealing with the loss of his son, David, in late 2012 to alcohol poisoning after a Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity initiation event that went horribly awry. This week, five fraternity officers are in court on felony and misdemeanor hazing charges and 17 others are facing misdemeanor charges.

"We have no desire for revenge," a Bogenberger statement reads as reported by Daily Herald writer Barbara Vitello. "Rather we hope that some significant change will come from David's death. Alcohol poisoning claims far too many young, healthy lives. We must recognize that young people can and do die in hazing rituals."

Talk now with your son or daughter about the dangers he or she could face even when it may seem to the student like it's a normal part of university life. Let them know that hazing is not OK. A discussion with university officials on what the culture is on campus and where students can get help is necessary. Does the school treat this threat seriously?

But what of the students whose acclimation to a new way of life is going poorly? Oftentimes, parents are the last to know. And in this age of health care privacy via HIPAA laws, if their child is over 18, parents don't have a legal right to know.

According to an Illinois Radio Network story, Mike Predmore is working to protect parents like him. His son Chris was a freshman at Illinois State University last November when he killed himself in his dorm room. Chris had told a counselor at ISU he'd tried to kill himself last summer, but the school was barred from telling his parents.

Predmore, of downstate Bartonville, is working with his state senator, Dave Koehler, a Peoria Democrat, to create a way for college students to allow the release of mental health information to parents.

"At the very least, this legislation would raise awareness about suicide and depression," Predmore said during an Illinois Senate committee hearing. "And if it saves just one life of a college student, then we believe it is worth (becoming law.)

Even with a law - and we encourage the General Assembly to pass it - the situation requires discussion between parent and student. It's easy to get caught up in excitement of sending your child off to school but those hard discussions are necessary and vital, both to reassure your child they have support at home and to alert them to circumstances they may face so they can prepare ways to deal with them if they have to.