Women of TV weather need some fashion tips

A concerned letter to the editor (and to all who supervise female television weather forecasters):

I am offering, at my own expense, a multipart seminar to assist all the young women who have been hired to forecast the weather for television news programs.

The basic course shall consist of:

• When does the Chicago winter occur and is it appropriate to wear sleeveless dresses during it?

• Measuring my dimensions to determine my size. (Tape measure and rearview mirror will be provided for each participant.)

• Zero is not a dress size. (It is an aberration.)

• Low V-necks, high split skirts. (Where can I wear them besides on the Red Carpet?)

• What should my derrière say about me? (Absolutely nothing!)

• Which day dresses can be appropriately decorated with sequins and rhinestones?

• Do 5-inch heels improve my posture? (Not if you're flailing your arms around trying to maintain your balance.)

Each discussion topic will be illustrated with local video tapes. There will be a final exam and grades will be issued; your employer will be notified.

At the end of the seminar, a field trip will be taken to suitable stores at Woodfield Mall. I look forward to working with you.

Margaret McDonald

Arlington Heights