'Goon' gritty, yet surprisingly sweet

Posted March 29, 2012 6:00 am

Dann Gire

Reel Life review: 'Goon'

"Goon," Michael Dowse's character study of a hockey player, won't replace either Paul Newman's mini-classic "Slapshot" or Gavin O'Connor's fact-based "Miracle" in the pantheon of hockey movies.

But it does bear a resemblance to the 1976 boxer underdog character "Rocky" with its depiction of a sincere, none-too-bright athlete trying to go the distance in his life and not screw up everything along the way.

A bulked-up Seann William Scott - yes, Stiffler from the "American Pie" comedies - plays Doug Glatt, a bouncer who gets a shot at playing for the Halifax Highlanders and at going up against minor league hockey legend Ross "The Boss" Rhea (Liev Schreiber hitting us with his best performance in years).

All Doug has to do is learn to skate. And stay alive on the ice.

"Goon" captures the gladiator-like culture of hockey as Scott's winning performance lures us into its center. Doug falls for a groupie (Alison Pill) with self-esteem issues while his obnoxious best pal (co-writer and producer Jay Baruchel) overdoes his middle-finger shtick.

Touted as "inspired" by the book "Goon: The True Story of an Unlikely Journey into a Minor Hockey League," Dowse's movie works as a gritty, yet sweet testimonial to a man finding his life's purpose. And being pleasantly surprised.

"Goon" opens at the Century Centre in Chicago. Rated R for violence, language and sexual situations. 90 minutes. ★ ★ ★

Reel Life review: 'Musical Chairs'

"Musical Chairs" has its heart in the right place, but fails to strum any of its emotional strings.

Directed by Susan Seidelman (mostly known for "Desperately Seeking Susan"), this made-for-cable-TV-quality production screams "Please like me" in every scene as its familiar characters go through the paces of a very familiar plot, with a wheelchair twist.

In New York, a gentle young lad named Armando (E.J. Bonilla) works at his parents' restaurant, but moonlights as a dance instructor at a Manhattan studio.

No sooner than his hungry eyes fall upon a promising blonde dancer named Mia (Leah Pipes) than she gets hit by a van. Forced into a wheelchair, the distraught dancer falls into a depression, and it's up to the cheerfully optimistic Armando to teach her all about competitive wheelchair ballroom dancing - and maybe win the big dance contest coming up.

"Musical Chairs" doesn't pretend to be any more than the simple, by-the-numbers dance/romance it is. But there's barely a spark of real emotion between the characters, and even a sensual swimming pool scene with Armando and Mia feels watered down.

"Musical Chairs" opens at the Cantera 30 in Warrenville, and both the River East and City North in Chicago. Rated PG-13 for language, a drug reference and sexual situations. 100 minutes. ★ ★

'A stuck-up, evil man'?

I recently served as a guest speaker at Fremd High School's annual Writers Week in Palatine. I received a huge package stuffed with a zillion thank-you notes from the students.

"How thoughtful those nice Fremd kids are!" I thought.

Then I read this from a student: "Just to let you know the only reason I am writing this to you is because I am forced to do so."

Impressed by the writer's honesty, I continued to read.

"I figured you deserved a little respect for proclaiming 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' as 9/11 porn. So I was lucky enough to get to skip English, conventional class that is, and see you talk at Writer's Week."

The letter ended with "Your polarizing perspective was a welcome addition to the stage this year."

Now, that's a thank-you letter. Here are some other letter highlights that caught my irises:

"Has anyone ever told you that you sound like Tom Bergeron from 'America's Funniest Home Videos'?"

"You shared not only your enthusiasm, but also your passion with little regret, even though you receive hate mails with enough profanities that if read aloud, even the smallest animals will shy away in shame."

"I didn't know being a critic took that much work."

"It takes real courage to speak your mind and oppose millions of other people's opinions."

"While some other students thought you were arrogant, I thought it was great how you have the intellectual independence and courage to publish your own opinion, even though you acquire many haters."

"When I think of a Daily Herald movie critic, the first thing that pops into my mind is an old, stuck-up evil man who lives alone in a dark house and never smiles."

"Usually when presenting at a school, people don't make crude references, but you inserted them at the right time."

"I liked when you said 'Breaking Dawn' was more like 'Breaking Wind.'"

"You inspired me to not be a popcorn muncher and be a better critic."

And my favorite: "I like how you can voice your opinion and not have to worry about being reprimanded."

(Trust me, my Fremd friends, I am often reprimanded, but not by teachers or administrators.)

Incidentally, the Writers Week at Fremd High is a marvelous annual event where successful writers from a rainbow of disciplines come to speak about the secrets of their craft.

I hope I'll be invited back. I need to get out of that dark house where I never smile, you know?

Best opening scenes

What are the best opening scenes in the movies? I can't tell you here. But if you show up at Dann & Raymond's Movie Club at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, April 5, at the Schaumburg Township District Library (130 S. Roselle Road in Schaumburg), my partner Raymond Benson (film historian and James Bond novelist) and I will reveal our top 15 greatest opening movie segments ever made. Free admission! With film clips, of course. (847) 985-4000 or schaumburglibrary.org.

Incredible other 'Hulk'

Norridge filmmaker Adam Gacka's new doc "Sadermania: From Fanship to Friendship" will be featured at this month's Midwest Independent Film Festival at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Century Centre, 2828 N. Clark St., Chicago. "Sadermania" follows a superfan of pro wrestler Hulk Hogan, who eventually befriends his benign stalker. Gacka and producer Paul Matian will conduct a Q&A after the movie. Go to midwestfilm.com.

Andy Davis back in Chi

Chicago's own Andy Davis (director of "The Fugitive" and Chuck Norris' best film "Code of Silence") will return home to show his first movie, "Stony Island," at 8 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday at the Gene Siskel Film Center in Chicago. I interviewed Davis, then 31, when he premiered "Stony Island" in 1978.

"I wanted to do a film about what it's like to pay your dues as a musician in Chicago," he told me. Fate played a role in the movie when the original script called for the death of a fictional alderman, then Mayor Richard J. Daley died during filming.

"When they had Daley's funeral, we just went down there and filmed it," writer/producer Tamar Hoffs told me. "Did we plan it? No. But it sure did give us the heebie jeebies."

"Stony Island" will also be shown at the American Cinematheque in Los Angeles on April 24. Go to stonyislandmovie.com

Reel Life correction

Last week I wrote that Kevin Costner's character in the 1992 film "The Bodyguard" was named Mick Jackson. I meant to write Frank Farmer. Jackson was the director. Thanks to Bob from Carol Stream for the catch.

Daily Herald film critic Dann Gire's column runs Fridays in Time out!

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