Chill crime by freezing criminals
On Jan. 22 I read the story in the Daily Herald about overcrowding in our prisons. I have a brilliant, simple and inexpensive solution to this problem. Freeze our criminals, particularly those serving life in prison, the violent and repeat offenders.
Cryonics is the technology that allows us to freeze people with the knowledge that in some far future we’ll have discovered and perfected techniques to rehabilitate these people and return them to healthy productive lives.
It is also conceivable that in this future our state’s terrible financial situation will have improved. Then Illinois will be able to afford the cost of any accidental convictions and their resulting lawsuits.
The entire economy will have improved in the future so these criminals can be released into society and seek gainful employment instead of returning to crime.
And until that future arrives, Illinois will have saved much needed millions in guarding, housing, feeding, clothing and taking care of our criminals. Instead of multiple very expensive prisons, instead of lawsuits, instead of ineffective trials that are anything but quick and speedy we can all sleep safely knowing that our criminals are securely stacked and stored in a freezer.
No longer will we have to read in the Daily Herald about murderers released early so they may murder the innocent again, drunk drivers released early so they can run down the innocent, and child molesters released early so they can again steal our children’s innocence.
Tim Schmidgall
Elgin