Our family was blessed, too

I read Cal Thomas’ column and was truly moved. My brother was a Down syndrome child and he passed away on Dec. 21, 2010.

Joseph was born in 1944; four years before I was. At that time, the attitude of the doctors was, “If you are lucky he will die.”

Unlike many people at the time, my parents did not hide Joe. Joe was part of the family and if you knew us, you knew Joe. When people first met Joe they had no idea why he was “retarded.” Meeting Joe educated them and their uneasiness was overcome. He was a loving person who always had a smile, a hug and an eye for the women.

Joe also had two older sisters and each of us took responsibility for Joe. Wherever we went, Joe was there. Joe lived for over 66 years — a feat not thought possible in 1944. His was a good life. Like Cal Thomas’ brother, Joe was a success because he had friends.

I called Joe a “Tweener.” He was born between when Down’s children were hidden away and when society developed programs to mainstream these children. Joe did go to school, but programs were small and crowded. Joe started at 13 and at 16, he was unceremoniously discharged. As Thomas said, institutions were snake pits back then. My parents — like his — kept Joe at home where he received all their love.

Was life with Joe easy? No, but we remember how Joe was the glue that held the family together. We remember love is not just for those who meet our ideals. We remember what sacrifice means. We remember Joe’s smile. We remember that Joe knew everyone in church and everyone knew Joe.

Cal Thomas was blessed to have a brother named Marshall. The Crowther family was blessed to have our brother named Joe.

Charlie Crowther

Gurnee