Call me when Cubs actually win World Series

Excuse me for saying this but until further notice, conventional wisdom says the Cubs are still the Cubs.

This franchise remains more fun than function, more good time than good baseball, more winter than summer.

The Cubs are all that regardless of the hoopla at this weekend’s Cubs Convention. Yes, folks, due to a lifetime of experience I’m a convention pooper.

That’s the way it’ll be until the Cubs win a World Series for the first time since 1908 or at least play in one for the first time since 1945.

Are we allowed to mention those milestone years now that Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts has hired Theo Epstein as president of baseball operations?

As usual this weekend’s convention is a celebration, though it’s difficult to determine what fans are celebrating other than a few fresh faces.

About an hour before Epstein’s introductory news conference in October, a TV cameraman on Clark Street asked what my first question would be for the Cubs’ latest savior.

I didn’t have one, other than where Epstein gets his hair cut and where he has his business suits tailored. Sheesh, all his hairs are always in place and all his clothes fit impeccably.

The follow-up would have been why Epstein is so bold to think he could win a World Series here before he’s bald, his waist won’t fit inside his pants and he reaches the age of countless Cubs fans who died before the glory days.

All other questions have been asked of all other promising arrivals on the North Side from Leo Durocher to Dallas Green to Andy MacPhail to Dusty Baker to Lou Piniella.

Yet the more the names changed, the longer the Cubs’ slump proceeded.

I don’t mean to diminish the significance of Ricketts hiring Epstein to exorcise the Cubs’ demons. But the runaway optimism begs to be tempered.

If nothing else, the Cubs Convention should provide Epstein with a better idea of what he’s up against.

The rousing reception Cubs fans gave him was just another example of fans putting the applause ahead of the accomplishment.

It wasn’t much different from, say, the Wrigley faithful giving Jason Kendall a huge ovation before his first at-bat.

Then Epstein must have been stunned by a quote from overpaid, underachieving Alfonso Soriano: “I’m comfortable with the Cubs.”

Epstein will have to address the players’ comfort level if the Cubs are going to win a World Series this century.

Depending on your perspective, re-signing Kerry Wood was either a step in that direction or marching in place.

“I’m back where I want to be,” the Cub favorite said.

Now, it’s admirable that Wood wants to stay close to his family in Chicago during the summer. However, it’s also a bit curious that at 34 he prefers being somewhere he’s unlikely to play for his first World Series.

Wood had contract offers from contenders but chose to remain with the Cubs despite less chance to win a championship.

All athletes in all sports have to strike a balance between the personal and playing for something significant.

One of Epstein’s foremost assignments is figuring out a way to make it possible for a player like Wood to do both in a Cubs uniform.

Epstein carries himself with such confidence that it’s easy to believe he’ll transform the Cubs into something other than the Cubs.

You know, before he himself gets comfortable with the Wrigley Field culture.

mimrem@dailyherald.com