'Miss Minoes' is simple ... too simple

<b>Reel Life mini-review: "Miss Minoes"</b>

The Dutch production "Miss Minoes" has to rank as the most simple-minded children's movie I have seen in years.

Granted, "Miss Minoes" is a far-fetched fantasy about a cute talking kitty that eats some hormonal waste material out of an industrial drum and inexplicably turns into a cute woman in a green suit with matching handbag and perfectly applied lipstick and eye shadow.

But shouldn't the filmmakers have at least pulled back from advocating angry citizens should take the law into their own hands and dispense justice - as long as it's funny?

Couldn't the filmmakers have suggested that journalists don't just make up stories that go on newspaper front pages without anyone else at the paper knowing about them?

And why expose children to such blatant sexist stereotyping? ("Men do silly things," a mom says. "They can't help it!")

It might not be any comfort to know that "Miss Minoes" is actually a 2001 movie now coming to Chicago's Music Box Theatre after winning the 2002 Children's Jury Award from the Chicago International Children's Film Festival. (Kids, what were you thinking?)

Belgian director Vincent Bal didn't have much of a budget to work with, so the transformation of Minoes the cat into Miss Minoes (Carice van Houten) is never seen, merely suggested during the animated opening titles.

Van Houten doesn't really tap into her inner cat, but plays Miss Minoes as a regular human who periodically reminds us of her true identity by demonstrating overt feline behavior, such as licking her paws and brandishing her claws at canines.

The plot involves a bumbling journalist named Tibbe (Theo Maassen) who better come up with something interesting for his newspaper or he'll get canned. (Apparently, Dutch newspaper editors never actually assign stories.)

He meets the mysterious Miss Minoes after she sneaks into his apartment window. Because she can communicate with the feline community, Tibbe uses the cat connections to get the inside goods on a corrupt local businessman.

This story, based on a novel by Annie M.G. Schmidt, is streamlined so that young children can follow it, but Bal's stuffy, straight direction squanders so many humorous opportunities and emotionally connecting moments that it plays like a reject from the Disney Channel.

"I really loved her when she purred," Tibbe says after Miss Minoes departs.

With funny dialogue like this, how could anyone take it seriously?

But what do I know? I'm a man. I do silly things. I can't help it.

<b>"Miss Minoes," in dubbed English, opens at the Music Box Theatre. Chicago. Rated PG. 86 minutes. ★ ½</b>

<b>Reel Life interview: Michel Hazanavicius</b>

Michel Hazanavicius wrote and directed the daring new black-and-white silent movie "The Artist," opening today at local theaters. I chatted with him during a brief visit to Chicago to speak about his film.

Q. You helped your cast get into the mood of their scenes by playing music. What kind?

A. I used classic Hollywood scores from people like Cole Porter, Franz Waxman, Bernard Herrmann, Leonard Bernstein, Max Steiner, Alfred Newman. The music came from "Citizen Kane," "Laura," "Sunset Boulevard," "The Bride of Frankenstein," "A Place in the Sun," "Vertigo," that kind of thing. I also used jazz from that period.

Q. Are movies today becoming too dependent on dialogue and losing their power to tell stories visually?

A. Not necessarily. It depends on which director we're talking about. If we're talking about Spielberg, he's the perfect example of a gifted visual filmmaker. His movies are extremely visual. So are ones from Juan Antonio Bayona with "The Orphange," and films by (Pedro) Almodovar. Even the blockbuster "Avatar" is highly visual. The French like talking too much, in my opinion. But the trend in American cinema is really visual.

Q. After all the research you did watching all those silent movies, do you have a favorite?

A. I'm not a list guy. My brother is a list guy. He does lists for everything.

Q. I'm not looking for a list. Just one.

A. Yes, but the one is the winner of the list. It's difficult not to mention "Sunrise," "City Girl," and Charlie Chaplin's "City Lights." But I'm going to say "The Unknown" with Lon Chaney. Do you know that one?

He's a knife thrower in a gypsy camp, but he has no arms, so he must use his feet to throw the knives. And he smokes cigarettes using his feet.

Q. What was your biggest challenge on "The Artist."

A. Every movie has its own world. In my opinion, movies are organic things. Every movie has a note. My job as director is to communicate that note.

Q. You once referred to making "The Artist" as a case of "wonderful madness." How so?

A. People were very happy to work on a special project. My producer was really crazy. He put his own money into this project. You don't have to be crazy to do this, but maybe unconscious.

<b>iPic to pick film shorts</b>

iPic Theaters, which took over the Gold Class Cinemas in South Barrington, is offering $4,400 in prize money for winning entries in its new iPic Members Film Festival.

Contestants must be iPic members and submit a short film (two to six minutes) on the topic of earth preservation between Jan. 7 and Feb. 10. Winning entries will be shown at all iPic Theaters for a month. Go to ipictheaters.com for the complete rundown of rules and rewards.

<i> Daily Herald film critic Dann Gire's column runs Fridays in Time out!</i>