Is this generation of girls meaner than the rest?

Two Florida girls created a Facebook account for a classmate they didn’t like, accumulated 181 friends, and then filled it with obscene photos and nasty comments.

In New York, two jealous high school girls devised a plan to keep the star music student out of the talent show: they smashed her face with a padlock, damaging her jaw so badly that she couldn’t sing.

Mean girls exist in suburban Chicago schools, too, even if the cases aren’t as extreme. For example, two DuPage County fifth-graders recently made a YouTube video dissing a girl they didn’t like and put it online for all to see, one suburban counselor said. In another case, a popular suburban girl pretended she liked an unpopular girl, convinced her to hand over her Facebook password, and then sent out nasty messages to everyone on her account, another counselor said.

Mean girls are not a new phenomenon, and not every girl is mean. However, experts say the severity of girls’ cruelty is on the rise. It’s led to an increase in teen suicides and prompted schools around the country to address the situation.

What’s going on?Counselors say this generation of girls aren#146;t meaner by nature, but they have more ways #8212; and in some cases, more inclination #8212; to be mean. #147;The bottom line is, it#146;s so much easier to bully now,#148; says Chrissy Markevicius, a guidance counselor in the Homer Glen school district who created Bullyinterventions.com.#147;I don#146;t think there#146;s more of it. It#146;s just a lot more out in the open and can involve a lot more people,#148; added Litzi Hartley, a mother of two girls and director of the Adolescent Counseling Center of DuPage in Naperville.A combination of factors contributes to the mean girl problem, but experts agree the main culprit is technology.In past generations, it was taboo for girls to be aggressive. When mean girls acted out their rage, it was in front of small groups of people in the hallway or at the mall. Today #8212; with the popularity of text messaging, the Internet, and social media sites like Facebook #8212; the nastiness is instantaneously shared with hundreds of classmates.Cyberbullying, as it#146;s known, affects 43 percent of all kids, according to StompOutBullying.com. Adolescent girls are significantly more likely to experience cyberbullying than boys, according to the Cyberbulling Research Center.#147;Saying something nasty to someone#146;s face is one thing. Putting it in a text to 600 people is another,#148; said Susan Bowman, vice president of YouthLight, a South Carolina-based company that provides educational seminars and resources for schools and sells more than a dozen books on the topic.Worse, girls don#146;t always have the moral sense that it#146;s bad to be mean to others. Reality TV is teaching impressionable young women that being mean makes you the center of attention #8212; a celebrity, even #8212; and subliminally sends the message that it#146;s OK to behave that way, Markevicius said.#147;They#146;re getting such a negative message, that the meaner you are and nastier you are, that makes you more popular. And it#146;s OK to do that because it#146;s a reality show,#148; Bowman said.Are parents to blame?Also contributing to the mean girls problem is a lack of adult guidance. Experts say parents, sometimes unknowingly, set poor examples for their children.#147;When someone opens the door for me, I say, #145;Thank you for doing that for me.#146; But girls today aren#146;t learning these manners,#148; Markevicius said. #147;Parents are so overworked, so overwhelmed, and we have so many split families. There#146;s no longer someone watching who says, #145;This is not the way we do things.#146;#148;Empathy is not always taught, so girls aren#146;t being asked questions like #147;Do you think that was nice?#148; and #147;How do you think that made the other person feel?#148; Markevicius said. She suggests parents try to instill empathy in their children by having them practice identifying feelings of others, such as a person holding a sign begging for money.#147;These girls didn#146;t come out of the womb with these behaviors. They learned them. Where did they learn them? They can learn them from things they see on TV, from peers and from family members,#148; Hartley said.Parents sometimes subconsciously teach their children to talk behind people#146;s backs, experts say. They might smile and be nice to their mother-in-law, and then the minute she leaves, rip on her to all of the other relatives. Kids will pick up on that, Hartley said.#147;We can flap our jaws to eternity saying don#146;t do this and don#146;t do that and have compassion for people, but we have to lead by example,#148; she said. #147;If what we say is different than what we do, they#146;re going to go with what we do.#148;Do you stand up for others?Bullying education stresses the importance of bystanders speaking up, but suburban counselors say that#146;s another behavior parents preach but don#146;t practice.#147;When we see something wrong at work, do we stand up and say something? Or do we try to avoid getting involved?#148; Hartley asked.Mean girls don#146;t just cause hurt feelings. Targets can develop serious problems, including anxiety and depression, and start skipping school or self-inflicting harm, Hartley said.A lot of resources are available to help parents, teachers and children who are dealing with this issue. National conferences are held on the topic and dozens of companies and websites provide useful tools.Most states and school districts, including Illinois, have bullying policies on the books, but don#146;t have any bullying prevention plans. That means they#146;re only equipped to handle the situation after something bad has happened, Bowman said.To stop mean girls, experts say the problem needs to be handled proactively, which requires communication, education and intervention. #147;People need to say, #145;This needs to stop. You need to be respectful,#146;#148; Markevicius said.Adds Bowman: (Girls) are being encouraged to be more assertive, which is good and positive, but we need to do a better job of teaching what strength is.#148; Resources for dealing with mean girlsŸmeangirlsnotcool.comŸstopgirlbullying.comŸthebullypolice.comŸbullyinterventions.comŸyouthlight.com