What is the secret to making a marriage last?

By Annettee Budzban

Daily Herald correspondent

“They will become one flesh.”

— Genesis 2:23 (NIV)

I really enjoy the month of June. It’s special to me for many reasons: it is my birthday month; the beginning of summer; and there are many weddings and other fun activities taking place.

The ringing of wedding bells causes me to reflect on what marriage ought to be. It is the merging of two people becoming one.

This process starts with the vows. As soon as these are made and the ceremony is complete, you are one in the eyes of the state.

However, the process has just begun. Becoming one takes time, effort and experience. It requires learning how to grow together to function as one.

When you start off your new life together, you share the same last name, the same residence and some of the same dreams. In order to make those dreams come true, you need to invite God into your marriage. Ask him to be at the center of your decisions.

God’s way is not achieved by following your feelings and emotions. It is achieved by prayer and following the way of truth in a situation.

Forgiveness is the main ingredient. Exchanging kind words, as well as a kiss good-night before going to sleep before, during or after a dispute — even when you don’t feel like it.

This follows the biblical principle, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26).

The writer of Ecclesiastes informs us that God has made everything beautiful in its time, and timing is everything. Ask God to teach you how and when to approach your spouse with an issue or concern.

Many a battle is won when discussed in the proper manner and at the right time, not in the heat of the emotion.

Fanning the flame of romance keeps the passion alive. A love note, an occasional kind word or gesture gives your spouse the message that you care, especially when you are going through tough times.

I enjoy it when my husband leaves me messages written in soap on the bathroom mirror. Playing some of our favorite love songs hits a few romantic chords as well.

Finally, remember as it says in Proverbs 24:6, “For waging war you need guidance.”

When unable to resolve conflict in your marriage, seeking a counselor can shed some light on a dark situation.

Be encouraged, commitment is the super glue that can help you make your dreams come true.

Ÿ Annettee Budzban is a Christian author, speaker, life coach and nurse. She can be contacted at Annetteebudzban@aol.com