Don’t let ‘stupid’ enter conversation
In response to Kent McDill’s “How Can I Be So?,” I’m certain you’re a fine person and a nice guy but I found your response to your children’s admonishment, “How can you be so stupid?,” both unrealistic and counterproductive.
As parents, we endeavor to educate our children in the way of the world, winnowing out the stuff we don’t want emulated. Allowing children to respond to the wrong type of chips in their lunch, “Ruffles vs. Lays,” with “How can you be so stupid?” does nothing to further their education. Imagine the response this would elicit in school ... or in a future workplace.
Children old enough to have opinions on food brand should to be making their own lunches. They should even provide a little help with shopping, ostensibly so that their preferences are observed. I’d have them with me to witness firsthand that prices vary among brands and additionally the foodstuffs they desire do not automatically jump from the shelves to the cart, into the car, and miraculously transport themselves into the house. Money and efforts are expended — your money, your effort. They should be helping.
Wrong T-shirt in your drawer? Have the children sort the laundry themselves. Even a little instruction in operating the washer/dryer is in order. If a child is old enough to identify that how stupid it was that you gave them their sibling’s T-shirt, they are old enough to help with the laundry process.
There is great pride in finding that your children are more knowledgeable than you in any subject — Haley’s expertise on an American presidency. We all want the next generation to be bright and successful. But the manner in which the children correct your knowledge gaps are as important to their future as their stash of esoteric information.
It is not acceptable to infer or state aloud that your occasional incorrect answers indicate that you are stupid, nor does it imply license to tell you so.
A little respect is in order for parents who provide so much every day in the way of material and emotional support and service. You are not, in my opinion, doing the kids any favors when you tolerate the type of verbal barrage that includes the word “stupid.” The world won’t reward that attitude, and neither should you. Civility is learned at home.
Anita Mitchell
Sugar Grove