Move over mancave: Suburban moms creating rooms of their own

They may call it a mom cave, mom’s escape or the estrogen room like Tracy Bischof did when she was the mother of two young sons and needed to retreat from trucks, but women are seeking a room of their own.

“Mom caves are what the chef’s kitchens were in the ’90s — all of a sudden everyone had to have a chef’s kitchen with a potfiller, and that’s what the mom cave is today,” said Elaine Griffin, New York City interior designer.

Years before Griffin designed mom cave vignettes to inspire HomeGoods customers, Bischof and her interior designer, Jane Irvine of Kildeer, created the feminine retreat in the Bischofs’ Barrington Hills home.

The room is separated from the living room with French doors, which makes it quiet. But that also meant the decor needed femininity without screaming it or clashing with the rest of the house, said Irvine, who is a member of the American Society of Interior Designers.

And Tracy Bischof had definite ideas for the place she would spend her rare escapes.

“I wanted it to be very girlie and feminine with no trucks or balls or boys’ toys being thrown around,” she said.

Bischof saw a fabric in a magazine, and when Irvine tracked it down, that’s where the duo started. The window treatment is blue — softer than robin’s egg — with a pink and green floral. Irvine describes other colors in the room as celadon and a little bit of peachy raspberry.

Another thing banned from the room that you would probably find in every man cave is a television. This is where Bischof reads, talks on the phone, enjoys a cup of tea and a chat with a girlfriend or two. Sometimes her husband or one of the children, such as the daughter who eventually came along, joins her for a break from the chaos of a young family.

The room isn’t large, and its angles and bay of windows made it a little difficult to furnish comfortably, said Irvine. “We angled everything to make it look roomier,” she said.

But the room is equipped with a couch, two chairs and of course there’s an ottoman because what is a respite without a chance to put your feet up. Accessories include romantic artwork and family pictures.

To make the most of the room’s size and further the peaceful mood, Irvine kept the walls and drapery in the same color rather than having a sharp contrast, and is pleased with the combination of two values of green — yellow and blue.

“It works because the background of the room is blue but can go to the greens. The main fabric — the window treatment — has a blue background and the leaves are in the greens. It all blends together.”

Unlike Griffin, Irvine is not convinced this is a trend sweeping the country.

“In 25 years of being in this business, I can’t remember really doing another home where a woman had a room. They don’t sit still, and men get the extra room for their office,” she said.

The mom cave is definitely not an office, said Griffin, although she thinks women find certain types of work relaxing.

While she and HomeGoods want to show that any woman can create her own space, no matter what the size of her home or budget, we’re not convinced that the mother dodging toy trucks can enjoy a respite or craft corner carved from the dining room.

The author of “Design Rules: The Insider’s Guide to Becoming Your Own Decorator,” Griffin attributes the demand for mom’s rooms to the fact that in this economy people eschew that nice vacation and perhaps a new car.

“The energy for that lake home or maybe lake rental is going to our own homes, for our own families. We spend more time together, and we’re at home more,” she said.

And Oprah helped convince the nation “If mom isn’t happy, no one’s happy,” Griffin said.

Thus mom and indeed any woman who does not live alone craves “me space for my me time.”

According to The Wall Street Journal, women are sneaking in to enjoy their husbands’ man caves, Griffin said. Thus the mom cave ensures each member of a couple his and her own place.

“It’s the space where the woman who nurtures everyone goes to nurture herself,” Griffin said. “This is one of the few times she can say ‘When the door’s closed, I’m off duty. You should only disturb me if you have called 911.’”

Griffin said the rooms designed for HomeGoods are colorful to make them cheery and happy.

Peacock blue is the “it” color for 2011, and she paired it with olive green, yellow and ivory. Ocher mustard yellow is making a comeback. And there’s nothing girlier than fuchsia or hot pink.

Whatever the name or palette, here’s what every good mom cave, mom’s escape, feminine retreat or peaceful respite needs:

ŸA place to sit.

ŸA place to “work” — balance a check book, knit, talk on the phone, write a blog, craft or two of the above.

ŸOrganization tools — shelves, bins, bags.

ŸPersonal things decorating walls and tables — whatever makes you happy.

ŸMore seating — maybe just an ottoman — for a girlfriend or maybe a husband “by invitation only.”