Play-by-play is no place for ads

I listened to part of the last Bears' game on the radio, something I haven't done in quite some time.

It was hard not to notice how fast the two announcers were talking. It was also quite challenging for them to talk so fast without goofing up some of the words that they were trying to get out of their mouths so quickly. In fact, one guy was talking at such great speed that he mispronounced his co-announcer's name and it took him several tries to say it correctly.

I soon realized why they were talking so fast. It's hard to describe a play while you are also trying to squeeze in a few words about some sponsor. I quickly wondered if I was listening to a football game or just one long commercial that was occasionally interrupted by a football game.

I can't recall exactly what they said, nor do I want to further promote the sponsors mentioned, but imagine the announcers sounded something like this: Cutler, back to pass but nobody is open (although now XYZ Pharmacy is open 24-hours a day to meet you prescription needs at all times). Cutler is getting little pressure from the defense (and by the way, this pass will be brought to you by Ted Light, it may be light, but it won't make your belt feel tight). The pass is thrown and is caught by Olsen for a first down (speaking of downs, when you deal with Big Ed's Auto, you never need to make a down payment on our new inventory of 2011's). Forte has the ball with some room to run (meanwhile, don't let time run out before you get to Things and Things because their 20 percent off bedding sale ends this Monday).

OK, I might be embellishing things a bit, but sadly, not by that much.

Bruce Handler

Hawthorn Woods