My Sarah Palin top 10 list

It's that time of the year when everyone is making top 10 lists for 2010.

Sarah Palin has somehow managed to make quite a few lists during 2010 (most interesting, most influential, etc.). If it were up to me, I would put her on a number of top 10 lists as well.

Here are my top 10 lists that I think Sarah should be on.

10) Most likely to get shot by Dick Cheney and to shoot him right back.

9) Most likely to try and walk to Russia from her hometown, because it seems so close.

8) Most likely to not find Russia on her trip there (couldn't fit the instructions on one hand and didn't realize

she could have used both hands and even both feet if necessary).

7) Most likely to sell the most books to the most people who can't read.

6) Most likely not to run for president (when she found out it was not a reality show, that the job lasts at least four years and that it's not located in the state of Washington).

5) Most likely to find Afghanistan on a map, after looking for only one hour and having someone say, getting warmer — got it.

4) Least likely to be on the top 10 list for most ignorant people in the world of politics, because the others in that group would be too insulted to be associated with her.

3) Least likely to answer any political questions because they can be so tricky.

2) Most qualified to serve food in an elementary school cafeteria (but only under close supervision).

And, No. 1) Most likely to meet an alien (from another planet) who says, “I guess there is no intelligent life on Earth.” After such a meeting Palin would of course solve the alien problem by asking the government to build a large fence between Earth and space.

And, Sarah, feel free to use your own personal dictionary and repudiate what I have written if you believe there may be a misunderestimation of what I have stated.

Bruce Handler

Hawthorn Woods