Bedwetting can have many causes
Q. In a recent article about a 12-year-old boy wetting the bed, you addressed the physical reasons but failed to pick up on other issues. Although you did mention sexual abuse, you did not take into consideration that this young boy could be a victim of bullying or harassment at school, in the neighborhood or other outlying scenarios.
If the parents are not aware of such circumstances, the boy may be afraid to mention the situation, thus keeping his feelings in until they manifest themselves in the bedwetting problem.
A.Your bedwetting article drew my attention. One of the first things that I would recommend these parents investigate would be some kind of emotional trauma bullying or sexual or physical abuse. An emotional event could likely trigger this kind of response.
Q. Another possible cause of sudden onset bedwetting is molestation. I wet my bed until I was 16 because I was being molested by an older brother. When I was wet, he wouldn't come to my bed at night. He used blackmail to keep me quiet. We were battered by our stepmother, so I could not go to her for help. I eventually got professional counseling. Now 62, I have been happily married for 41 years and have four grandchildren.
A. It appears that I was remiss when suggesting causes of sudden-onset bedwetting. I apologize.
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse are all valid causes for bedwetting. Problems can arise especially in children who do not seek help in resolving the situation (owing to fear or embarrassment) or feel they have no one to turn to.
If any of these is the cause, counseling or therapy are good places to start. Children may feel more comfortable without parents or guardians in the room during the sessions; however, it may be beneficial for the family to undergo therapy together, as well, especially in the case of molestation, so that the whole family can learn how to cope with the issue and develop tools to deal effectively with all the aftereffects that this type of abuse can cause.
Q. When I was a young mother, my 5-year-old started having trouble with bedwetting. At that time, there was a television program called “FYI” (For Your Information). The spokesperson basically said that it may be because he or she is allergic to milk. If he is eating ice cream or any dairy product as part of the last meal of the day, he may be asleep when the reaction occurs and that is when he can't control it.
Well, I tried it and it did make a difference right away for us. I told my son that he wasn't a “bad boy” and that his bedwetting was because of something he couldn't control. We had no more problems as long as his last meal of the day had no dairy products in it.
I should probably mention that when he was a baby, he couldn't tolerate most formulas and projectile vomited after each feeding with them. I eventually switched him to a soy-based formula, and he got better. I hope this helps other young mothers out there.
A. This is a new one for me, so I have printed your letter in the hopes that it can help others as it seems to have helped you and your son. Thanks for sharing!
© 2010, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.