'Piranha' problems: Studio tipped ending, MPAA botched rating

Piranha's fishy endingIf you saw the new comic horror thriller "Piranha 3-D" as I did last weekend, you were probably as bummed as I when the shockeroo ending came - and we had already seen it in TV commercials.Yep, those killjoy marketing people at the Weinstein Company ruined their own movie for us by showing the "surprise" final shot in theatrical trailers and TV commercials.So, on behalf of filmgoers everywhere, I want to issue a sarcastic "Thanks a lot" to the marketing spoilsports at Weinstein. And let me add a sincere "Thank you" to Weinstein for not creating the commercials and trailers to "Citizen Kane," "The Crying Game," "The Sixth Sense" and "Return of the Jedi."Piranha's fishy ratingOnce more, the Motion Picture Association of America's Ratings Board has failed American parents.In Alexandre Aja's tongue-in-cheek remake of the 1978 thriller "Piranha," prehistoric carnivorous fish chow down on 20,000 college students during Spring Break.Bodies get stripped to the crimson bones. Blood sprays everywhere. Screaming students get pulled from the water with their lower halves virtually gone. Two men pick up a partially eaten woman and inadvertently pull her in half as she screams."Piranha 3-D" has been rated R for "strong, bloody horror violence, gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language and drug use." But the stark depictions of carnage easily are more graphic and realistic than the demonic bloodletting in "Evil Dead," originally rated X for violence before it dumped the rating and went to market unrated.A subplot in "Piranha" involves a filmmaker shooting a "Girls Gone Wild"-type video by photographing naked women getting tequila licked off their bodies or shoving their bare chests into a 3-D camera lens.So, why isn't this movie rated NC-17? You know, for adults only?If it had been, maybe the two families I saw in the theater Saturday would not have brought their elementary-school-aged and junior-high-aged children with them to witness a man's privates being chewed up and then spit out by a nasty-looking piranha.The MPAA's website states, "An NC-17 rated picture is one that, in the view of the Ratings Board, most parents would consider patently too adult for their children ... The rating simply signals that the content is only appropriate for an adult audience."If the content in "Piranha 3-D" doesn't qualify as adults only, then maybe the members of the MPAA's Ratings Board can answer this simple question: What does?Congrats filmmakers!Local teenage filmmakers won prizes and praise during the Fourth Annual Teen Film Fest held at the Arlington Heights Memorial Library.Ben Moxley of Arlington Heights won first place and $100 for his James Bond spoof "The Beatrix Gem." Ashley Garrett of Arlington Heights won second and $75 for her creepy rock video "Walking on Air."Trevor Osmond of Kildeer placed third and received $50 for his tension-packed game short "Jenga." "All of the teen directors have this incredible technical know-how in crafting these films, and they all displayed a real talent in creating cohesive films that often told complex stories," Teen Librarian Tom Spicer said.Thirteen teens submitted films for the festival this year.Reel Life review: 'Flipped'Rob Reiner's "Flipped" is just about as Norman Rockwellian as a sentimental tweenie romantic comedy can get. It's rosy and nostalgic, moody and life-affirming, and chock full of pop tunes and moral lessons.Mostly, "Flipped" is a classic "He Said/She Said" story in which a budding young romance gets examined in microscopic detail by two highly introspective voice-over narrators fondly remembering their childhoods together.The guy, Bryce Loski, tells of how he met Juli Baker in second grade. Then flip! Juli Baker tells of how she met Bryce Loski. Their stories are sort of the same. And not."Flipped" continues in this fashion, with his version of their story comically juxtaposed with hers, even as they segue into junior high where Bryce is played by a conflicted Callan McAuliffe and Juli is played by an idealistic Madeline Carroll.Bryce's dad (Anthony Edwards) is a heel, for reasons we later find out. His mother (former hottie Rebecca DeMornay as a mom?) keeps the family together socially.Across the street, Juli lives with her mom (Penelope Ann Miller) and dad (Aidan Quinn), an artist who would rather paint landscapes than landscape the front yard.John Mahoney brings aging grace to Bryce's laconic Grandpa Chet, who sees exactly what's going on between Juli and his grandson and acts on the dictates of his conscience to help them.If these secondary characters seem a little thin, that's OK. After all, "Flipped" is set up as a fond memory, so naturally the secondary characters would be a little fuzzier. However, the "Rashomon"-like structure that works so well at the start begins to be irksome near the end, even though "Flipped" clocks in at a relatively breezy 90 minutes."Flipped" has been set during the 1960s (even though Wendelin Van Draanen's original novel was in the present), a change that gives Reiner permission to pump the soundtrack with crowd-pleasing baby boomer tunes and funny discussions of iconic boomer culture icons, such as the Three Stooges.He did it much better in "Stand By Me.""Flipped" opens today at the Century Centre in Chicago and the Evanston CineArts 6. Rated PG. 90 minutes. #9733; #9733; #9733;Special 'Avatar' opensJames Cameron's Oscar-winning special effects 3-D science-fiction adventure "Avatar" returns to area silver screens in a "special edition." That means eight minutes have been added with new creatures and action scenes. Maybe the new footage will explain why the blue planet is called Pandora, a mythological reference to the none-too-bright woman who unleashed all the evil and ills into the world. (My guess: No, it won't.) The Special Edition will be shown only in 3-D and IMAX 3-D versions. Sorry, 2-D lovers.Reel Life review: 'Lebanon'Samuel Maoz's camera never leaves the confines of a screeching, oil-bleeding Israeli military tank in "Lebanon," a morally dark, claustrophobic study of scared, twentysomething soldiers trying to survive the first day of the Lebanon war in 1982. The commander (Itay Tiran) doesn't know how to lead. The gunman (Yoav Donat) doesn't want to shoot people. The driver (Michael Moshonov) wants to go home. The shell loader (Oshri Cohen) strives to find logic in his unit's orders."Lebanon" was based on Maoz's memories of serving in the war, and they undoubtedly inject his sly, anti-war drama with the raw, authentic details that make "Lebanon" the most emotionally immersible war experience since Germany's "Das Boot" and the Afghanistan-set "The Beast."The slimy mixture of water, oil, cigarette butts and grime on the floor of the tank is so visceral that you can practically smell the fetid air.Deprived of outdoor scenery (except for the first and last images), "Lebanon" relies on the faces of its cast, and they are gloriously transparent windows to the tank's vulnerable souls - anxious, frightened, apolitical Israelis just doing their duty.And wanting to go home."Lebanon" opens today at the Music Box Theatre, Chicago. Rated R for violence, nudity, language. 94 minutes. #9733; #9733; #9733; #189;Reel Life review: 'Mesrine: Killer Instinct, Part 1'The first half of Jean-Francois Richet's ambitious, two-part French gangster epic "Mesrine: Killer Instinct" whips through one criminal episode after another with barely enough time for us to catch our breath - or clues as to what the anti-hero of the saga, French outlaw Jacques Mesrine, is all about.Richet's tale hints that Mesrine (Vincent Cassel) got his start in violent crime by torturing and killing an Algerian prisoner of war. Next thing we know, Mesrine abandons the domestic life he begins in favor of brutally taking what he wants at gunpoint or with a doubled-fist.French icon Gerard Depardieu lends his presence (which has gotten considerably Orsonian in recent years) to the supporting role of Guido, a crime figure who briefly serves as Mesrine's Fagan-like mentor."Mesrine" is an expensive French production (about $80 million), and it shows us why as Cassel's charismatic criminal globe-trots from Europe to North America.What's missing here isn't a sense of epic scale or importance, but Richet's point-of-view of Mesrine, who's too sketchy and vapid to spend a lot of time with. "Part 1" opens today at the Century Centre in Chicago. ("Part 2" will be released Sept. 3.) In French with subtitles. Not rated; contains violence, sexual situations, adult language, nudity. 113 minutes. #9733; #9733;False20001459Cool Bryce (Callan McAuliffe) tries to keep warm Juli (Madeline Carroll) at arm's length in the cute, youthful romance "Flipped." False