Farewell to 'At the Movies', which was put to sleep after 35-year run

'At the Movies' R.I.P.As most everyone knows, ABC finally put "At the Movies" out of its lingering misery earlier this week.The movie review show pioneered by Chicago film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel 35 years ago succumbed to a fatal combination of low ratings and a succession of low-wattage hosts who failed to capture the Chicago gladiator style of criticism that became the hallmark of the original program."At the Movies" went by various titles: "At a Theater Near You," "Sneak Previews" and "Siskel Ebert." The original dueling hosts hopscotched across the airwaves, increasing their audiences and salaries at each stop. They started at PBS, quantum-leaped to WGN, then later CBS and finally ABC - before Disney bought the network.To replace the two critics each time they left a show, producers tried pairing West Coasters with East Coasters, men with women, blondes with brunettes, even smart guys with other kinds of guys.Nothing really worked.Why didn't it?Producers only needed to find two scrappy, articulate Midwestern film critics who loved movies and would happily eviscerate each other on set to defend their views.But producers generally hired critics who were perceived as instantly likable and possessed image qualities that conformed to prevailing TV standards - in short, everything that Siskel and Ebert didn't have when they premiered on PBS."We have to hit the floor running!" a PBS executive told me, explaining why someone with minimal broadcast experience (namely, me) would never be considered as a replacement for either Ebert or Siskel.Fair enough.But it always struck me as odd that out of all the critics in the gin joints around the Midwest, nobody could find two savvy and smart movie lovers who could create lightning that may not be the same as Siskel and Ebert's, but could be equally as electrifying.Then again, a lot of TV people I spoke to early on thought "Sneak Previews" was a big hit because the public loved to see film clips.Fear factor?Are 20th Century Fox and the Weinstein Company running scared? Of little old film critics?Apparently.Fox's comedy "Vampires Suck" and Weinstein's thriller "Piranha 3-D" open today. Neither has been screened for local film critics.That's too bad, because the media overdose on vampires has been ripe for a comic takedown for a long time. As for "Piranha 3-D," it's a remake of Joe "Gremlins" Dante's 1978 2-D horror thriller about flesh-eating fish, written by celebrated indie filmmaker John Sayles.Hey, studio honchos! By not screening these two movies, you're already telling the public that you're dumping two gigantic gondark droppings at local theaters.Cowboy up and show your movies to critics. Then the people who don't go to see your films can at least read about them on opening day.All Coked upIn the new comedy "Lottery Ticket" opening today, Gbenga Akinnagbe's villainous ex-con bully boldly drinks a prominently displayed bottle of Coca-Cola while threatening a couple of neighborhood good guys.Later, a reclusive man in a bunkerlike dwelling requests that star Bow Wow buy him beef jerky and Coke."That's a nasty combination!" Bow Wow says, rolling his eyes.So, Coke is the preferred beverage of bullies, and when combined with dried beef, Coke becomes nasty.Who financed this movie, Pepsi?Teen film fest turns 4Join me and potential Steven Spielbergs of tomorrow when I host and judge the Fourth Annual Teen Film Festival at the Arlington Heights Memorial Library, 500 N. Dunton Ave., Arlington Heights. It starts at 7 p.m. today. First Place wins a $100 prize. Free admission! Go to ahml.info for details or call (847) 392-0100 and ask for Tom Spicer.Creature features ariseIt's not even October, but that doesn't stop the Portage Theater from launching a horror/sci-fi cinematic quartet for a Quadruple Feature starting at 1 p.m. Saturday at 4050 N. Milwaukee Ave, Chicago. Up on the silver screen will be "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein" (the film that signaled the end of Universal Pictures' classic monster era of the 1930s and 1940s), "Man of a Thousand Faces" (the story of makeup genius Lon Chaney), "The Invisible Man" (that made stage actor Claude Rains a star) and "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (considered the worst movie ever made, at least up until last month's "Standing Ovation"). Tickets for four movies cost $10; $5 for kids. Go to portagetheater.org.Joan hits After HoursThe After Hours Film Festival presents the doc "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work" at 7:30 p.m. Monday at the Tivoli Theater, 5021 Highland Ave., Downers Grove. Tickets cost $9. Go to afterhoursfilmsociety.com or call (630) 534-4528.