Zambrano: 'I just want to move on and be at peace'

DENVER - The last time Carlos Zambrano wore a Chicago Cubs uniform, he earned a suspension from his team for a first-inning tirade in the dugout after allowing four runs against the White Sox on June 25th. At the time, he explained that he was trying to "fire up" his teammates.

Friday afternoon, he returned to the Cubs clubhouse and offered a full apology, hoping his presence can fire the team up in a more productive manner.

"Believe me, I'm embarrassed and I feel bad about my conduct on June 25th," Zambrano said after a closed-door clubhouse meeting with his teammates before Friday's series opener with the Rockies. "I'm a human, and I know when I make a mistake.

"It was an embarrassment for the organization and myself, for my teammates, and for the fans. I just want to move on and be at peace. That's what I'm looking for."

Manager Lou Piniella and several other Cubs expressed appreciation for Zambrano's comments and seemed eager to put the incident behind them.

"I thought he was very sincere in his talk in the clubhouse. Very contrite," Piniella said. "He promised to be the best teammate he could possibly be and help us win as many games as we could. We welcomed him back, and he'll be in the bullpen starting tonight."

During his suspension, Zambrano underwent anger management sessions, and he will continue with eight or nine more sessions through the end of the season as he works to keep his emotions in balance.

"You can use that fire to your benefit, but it's got to be controlled," Piniella said. "There's nothing wrong with having fire, but if it consumes you and you do things out of the ordinary, it's no good and you're going to end up apologizing."

First baseman Derek Lee, who bore the brunt of Zambrano's tantrum back in June, was satisfied with the veteran's apology and eager to move forward.

"He did a good job," Lee said. "I'm sure it had to be hard to do, and I'm glad it's over with. I think everyone accepted it."

Left fielder Alfonso Soriano saw Zambrano's return as an opportunity to restore a sense of unity on the club.

"After what he said, I have a lot of respect for him," Soriano said. "If I can help him, I'll help, because if I help him, I help the team. He's a part of the team."

Zambrano also addressed several of the questions that have lingered since the incident.

On his decision to speak to ESPN before speaking to his teammates: "I felt that I had to defend myself. There were a lot of things that came out in the paper that wasn't true."

On his dinner with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen on June 25, the night of the incident, Zambrano explained that it was a business meeting with Guillen's wife, who works for Pepsi. Zambrano appears in Pepsi advertisements at his home in Venezuela.

And in terms of his future with the organization: "I want to stay with the Cubs. To play for the Cubs, believe me, is a privilege. But I understand this is a business. If they think I'm the problem here and they want to move me, it's sad, but I will move."

For now, both Piniella and Zambrano are happy to have the right-hander available in the Cubs' bullpen, though both agree that ultimately Zambrano is a starter. Piniella didn't rule out a return to the rotation this season for Zambrano.

"I have to accept it," Zambrano said of his situation. "I have to build my way back to be successful again. I promised myself and I promised the Cubs fans that I would do anything possible to come back and be the same or better."