Weak story unleashed in 'Cats & Dogs'
Clearly, my English bulldog leads a very dull existence, especially compared to title creatures in "Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore."
If they are not crashing through billboards on rocket boosters, the dogs and cats (and one pigeon) in "Cats & Dogs" are running worldwide spy organizations and building a satellite with the hopes of taking over mankind.
My dog enjoys chewing the cardboard from the paper towel roll.
The live-action, family film opens with the story of Diggs, a German Shepherd (voiced by James Marsden) working in the K-9 unit of a California police department, who finds himself placed in a kennel after botching yet another criminal case.
His human partner, Shane (Chris O'Donnell), vows that he will do whatever he can to spring Diggs - all the while emoting as little angst as he would, say, dropping the dog off at the groomers for the day. These two supposedly worked together for years, right?
Before Diggs can even sit down on the cold kennel floor, Butch (voiced by Nick Nolte), a canine agent for the Dogs HQ spy organization, mysteriously appears from under the floor. He's there to recruit Diggs to help catch the spy agency's number one feline villain, Kitty Galore (a comical nod to the Pussy Galore criminal in the 1964 James Bond film, "Goldfinger").
Kitty Galore (deliciously voiced by the Divine Miss M., Bette Midler), is a hairless, rubbery-looking creature. A former elite agent for the MEOWS feline spy agency, Galore embraced a life of crime after she fell into a vat of hair removal cream and was rejected by her once-loving human family. Now, she's out for revenge - and world domination, of course - with the aid of a high-pitched sound via satellite that will make dogs turn mad across the globe.
In the battle against Galore, Diggs and Nick are joined by a cat spy named Catherine (voiced by a bland Christina Applegate), who gets to announce the movie's rather obvious theme - that cats and dogs must work together to save mankind.
The Dogs HQ world headquarters is one of the bright spots in the film, with its futuristic special effects. In the underground fortress, dogs wear glasses while typing on high-tech computers, whiz around on disc-like scooters and, when nature calls, use red fire hydrants lined up like toilet stalls.
"It's Petco meets Vegas," Diggs remarks.
Much like a dog let loose in Petco, the film leaps from scene to scene with no solid storyline. One minute the animal agents are at a playground - the next, they are in a cat-filled home with an overflowing litter pan that is threatening to drown them all. They even manage a side trip to Alcatraz, all on their way to a head-shakingly bad ending.
Fans of better animal films - "Hotel for Dogs" and "Babe," for starters - know a clever script and winning characters can help carry the craziest critter tales. But "Cats & Dogs" has neither the warmth nor the whimsy to pull off its plot.
There are some fun moments. Jack McBrayer (of TV's "30 Rock") provides a bit of comic relief as "Chuck The Magnificent," a daffy magician who owns Kitty Galore and remains somehow oblivious to his cat's wicked ways. And the animal stars (real, puppet and computer enhanced) are indeed adorable - including Mr. Tinkles the snow white feline villain from the 2001 "Cats & Dogs" film, making a brief appearance bound in a Hannibal Lecter-style muzzle restraint in Alcatraz.
Be sure to stay for the ending credits to watch some fun real-life videos of cats and dogs.
<p class="factboxheadblack">"Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore"</p>
<p class="News">★½</p>
<p class="News"><b>Starring:</b> Chris O'Donnell, Jack McBrayer and the voices of Christina Applegate, Neil Patrick Harris, Sean Hayes, James Marsden, Bette Midler, Roger Moore and Nick Nolte </p>
<p class="News"><b>Directed by:</b> Brad Peyton</p>
<p class="News"><b>Other:</b> A Warner Brothers Pictures release. Rated PG. 100 minutes. The film is available in 3-D in selected theaters. </p>
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