Cyberbullying victim talks about ordeal that led her to harm herself

To the outside world, Desiree Sulzmann appears every bit the confident, popular teen.

The Dundee-Crown freshman earned a coveted spot on the school's varsity pom squad over the winter. She's an honors student and an active member of the Children's Theater of Elgin. She loves all the typical activities that come with high school - pep rallies, driving around with friends and making fast-food runs.

Still, she's not immune to cyberbullying.

One weeknight in February, Desiree got a text from a friend urging her to check out a Facebook page. She logged onto the computer in the study of her Sleepy Hollow home to find a boy who she'd been close friends with in middle school had started a group, "People who hate Desi cause she thinks she's better than everyone else."

Two dozen kids, some of whom she had known for years, had joined.

She tried not to let it bother her, but couldn't control her tears.

"I remember my dad coming in, him putting his arms around me and telling me that everything was going to be all right," Desiree said.

But she still had trouble shaking that website and the feelings that came with it.

Later that night, she said, she cut her wrists.

When she told her parents what she'd done hours later, they took her to Provena St. Joseph Hospital in Elgin overnight for observation.

Word got out, and when Desiree returned to school later that week, she had "psycho" whispered at her as she passed by in the halls and at lunch.

Desiree is feeling much stronger emotionally these days, after spending recent weeks talking things out with her school counselor and her pals. She and her mother, Becky, together read author Jodee Blanco's acclaimed anti-bullying book, "Please Stop Laughing at Us."

But one lasting reminder of that night remains - the Facebook page.

"Tons of people from school told him to take the page down," she said. "But he's smart; he left the group and just deleted his name off, so it's not connected to him anymore."

The Sulzmanns reported the incident to the police.

They also called the boy's parents, after learning he'd received an in-school suspension for his actions.

"I called his mother, and told her: 'Here's the Illinois statute,'" Tom Sulzmann said. "I said I don't want to ruin a 14-year-old's life, but if he does this again, he's going to get a felony."

Her initial response, he said, was an apology. The family declined to comment on the issue.

Becky and Tom Sulzmann say they know full well kids can be cruel. They're upset, naturally, with the teen whose words hurt their daughter.

But they also are upset by how the law is structured, and they feel helpless having a child far more technologically savvy than they are.

Illinois law calls for punishment only for repeat offenders. And for schools, there is no mandatory cyberbullying education.

"Look what happened to my child after just one instance," Becky Sulzmann said. "How many others could this be happening to?"

State Sen. Ira Silverstein, a Chicago Democrat, filed legislation in February 2008 in response to the October 2006 suicide of a Missouri teenager who had received hurtful messages via MySpace.

The legislation, which has since become known as the state's cyberbullying law, hands individuals a who use electronic communication a class 4 felony charge "for making a harassing statement for the purpose of alarming, tormenting or terrorizing a specific person on at least two separate occasions; or creating or maintaining an Internet web page, which is accessible to one or more third parties for a period of at least 24 hours."

"We didn't want the juvenile to get a record. The first event is an educational type thing. With the second offense, the law has some teeth to it," Silverstein said.

Still, he admits, cyberbullying has become far more prevalent in the past years than he ever imagined.

"Unfortunately, as the Internet is expanding, we have to try to keep up with it."

The Cyberbullying Research Center, run by Florida Atlantic University professor Sameer Hinduja and University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire professor Justin Patchin, in February surveyed 4,000 students ages 12-18. Nearly 10 percent of students surveyed admitted cyberbullying others in the last 30 days alone. Another 14.5 percent admitted either spreading rumors or posting hurtful comments about a peer online.

In Illinois, results from a 2009 survey taken through the attorney general's office found more than 27 percent of teens 14 and older said they've been threatened by someone online. Almost 41 percent said they have received an inappropriate picture of someone online, and more than 43 percent indicated they have said something inappropriate to someone online.

Jeffrey Shaman, a constitutional law professor at DePaul University, said that current cyberbullying laws "are narrowly drawn and carefully drawn" around free speech. "The schools have authority to prohibit fighting words and harassing conduct. There is some authority here on the part of school officials, but they have to be careful not to tread upon first amendment values," Shaman said.

He believes "the better response of school and government officials is to educate students on how harmful this is rather than after the fact."

U.S. Congressman Danny Davis, a Chicago Democrat, last Tuesday introduced legislation that seeks to amend the Safe and Drug Free Schools and Communities Act to require bullying and harassment prevention programs to be taught in schools. It also would define cyberbullying, on a federal level, for the first time.

Like Silverstein, Davis' push came after Massachusetts teenager Phoebe Prince committed suicide in January after being harassed at school.

Davis had introduced anti-bullying legislation two years ago, but it didn't get far.

"It has always been clear to me that we needed to really put some focus on this," he said. "The bill we had before did not have cyberbullying in it. We've included that because of the tremendous use of technology."

In writing the legislation, Davis looked at 2007 data from the National Crime Prevention Council, which reported 43 percent of the country's 14- and 15-year-olds experienced cyberbullying in a year's time.

"It has only gone up since then," he said. "And just as people didn't report spousal abuse before nearly as much as they now do, there are hundreds of thousands of young people who I think are suffering (from cyberbullying) in silence. Because other people take this as 'Hey, get over it.' ... I think it's gotten to the point where we can't just say, 'Get over it.' We have to do something about it. I think this is the more proactive way."

Geneva High School has seen its number of discipline issues connected to Facebook and MySpace "growing tremendously" in recent years, Principal Tom Rogers said.

School officials step in if they hear of cyberbullying related to school in some way.

"If they're bullying someone on Thursday night on Facebook and saying tomorrow in the cafeteria you're going to pay, that's bullying and we have a policy on bullying," Rogers said.

Punishments range from detention to Saturday school to possible expulsion.

The school in mid-April featured an Internet safety seminar with the Geneva Police and the attorney general's office.

Antioch Elementary District 34 held a similar seminar in late February.

In both instances, parents could log onto computers in the school's library and see first hand the damage that could be done via the Internet.

"It was absolutely amazing the knowledge they had about Facebook, chat rooms the kids go into, the vulnerability," Rogers said. Still, Geneva's Internet safety presentation didn't draw more than 25 parents.

With schools waiting on millions from the state, Rodgers said, "we're not interested in more unfunded mandates. But when you say more training, that's a tough one to answer. I do wish more parents would monitor their sons' and daughters' Facebook accounts and hold them accountable. Although if kids are so technologically savvy, they could have accounts out there no adults know about. Just the amount, the level of technology out there for these kids to utilize is unbelievable."

For Desiree, the experience has made her think twice about making mean or catty comments on others' Facebook pages or watching friends do so.

"I guess I just see things in different perspectives now," she said. "If you're going to yell at people, just do it one on one. Don't put it out there for everyone else to see it. I'm not just going to watch it happen and let it happen for somebody else."