Putting the ill in Illinois and some other things

A few things you won't read anywhere else:

• The Democratic Illinois U.S. Senate candidate helped manage a failed family bank that loaned money to mobsters.

The Republican running for Illinois governor didn't pay any taxes for several years and wants to allow for mass euthanizing of dogs in gas chambers.

The mop-topped former governor of the state is trying to subpoena the president to help him get off corruption charges.

Suddenly, Scott Lee Cohen - the Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor who dropped out after revelations he's a pawnbroker with a fondness for exotic masseuses - looks as though he had The Right Stuff after all.

• Hidden in the police reports of those two, fresh-faced Bucktown women who were beaten by a mugger with a baseball bat was this: one was carrying a Coach purse, the other a large leather bag.

After nearly killing both of them with a bat, the bad guy grabbed both bags - the fancy Coach purse and the big leather model containing a Blackberry, Sony camera, credit cards and cash - and ran off.

A victim is never to blame but victims' experiences can help prevent future, similar attacks. As the father of two daughters in their 20s who live in that neighborhood, I am always telling them about ways to reduce their chances of becoming targets; from not listening to music as they walk or talking on the phone to avoiding alleys.

Now I will add a new one: leave Louis Vuitton at home.

• It has been nearly a year and a half since tenacious Chicago priest Father Andrew Greeley, 82, was snagged and dragged while getting out of a taxi in Rosemont. He was critically injured with a skull fracture and a broken orbital bone near his eye. Undergoing rehab for a traumatic brain injury ever since, Father Greeley has been unable to return to work as a priest or celebrated author.

His 56th anniversary as a priest is May 5th so I sent him an e-mail asking how he was. Normally a quick responder, it took a while to receive this reply: "Progressing slowly." It was sent by Father Greeley's assistant.

• Is U.S. Transportation Secretary and Illinoisan Ray LaHood too busy to follow the news?

Nov. 27, 2009 - Tiger Woods is injured in a single-car crash outside his home.

Dec. 11, 2009 - Tiger Woods announces that "infidelity" is behind his plan to take a break from golf.

Jan. 21, 2010 - Tiger Woods checks himself into a sex-rehab clinic, after reports that he has had affairs with dozens of women.

Feb. 17, 2010 - Secretary LaHood announces $1.5 billion funding for 51 road projects and proudly proclaims it the "Transportation Investment Generating Economic Recovery Discretionary Grant Program."

TIGER for short.

"TIGER grants" LaHood said, will be aimed at making our communities "more livable and enhancing safety."

Today, across metro Chicago, that is why you see the word TIGER emblazoned in orange and black tiger-print on those kitschy road construction signs.

• Some Washington tongue-waggers are starting to paint Judge Ann Williams of the federal appeals court in Chicago as a "dark horse" to be the next U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Actually, she was on White House radar a year ago when a spot became open and President Obama made his first appointment.

She really shouldn't be considered a long shot at all. Her bench strength aside, Judge Williams would provide an exit from the Ivy League pipeline that has filled the high court.

Williams has solid roots. She has an undergrad degree from Wayne State in Detroit where she grew up, a master's in education from Michigan and a law degree from Notre Dame.

She also has countless community projects to her credit.

Moreover, after being appointed by Reagan and elevated by Clinton, both with Senate OKs, some experts are saying Supreme Court confirmation could be easy street.

• President Obama should be well-tuned tomorrow when he travels to Illinois and Iowa for the next phase of his "White House to Main Street Tour."

He and the first family just finished a weekend getaway to Ashville, N.C., which is as Main Street as you can get.

As a one-time North Carolina resident, I enjoyed the palatial mountainside resort where the Obama's stayed and I even learned of its great history.

Perhaps the president feels at home in the Grove Park Inn because it was once taken over by the federal government-much as the feds circa 2010 have consumed banks, car companies, etc.

In 1942 the government militarized the hotel, putting Japanese and German diplomats in one place where they could keep an eye on them.

• Finally, please note that Mr. Obama's "Main Street" will not extend to Chicago this week. Conveniently, he will be on the western border, as far away as possible from Messrs. Blagojevich, Giannoulias, Rezko, and the rest of the stooges that justify the ill in Illinois.

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC 7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com and followed at twitter.com/ChuckGoudie.