Ochoa's retirement decision evokes conflicting emotions

If Lorena Ochoa was named, say, "Lorenzo Ochoa," there would have been no news conference today. No way, no how.

"Lorenzo Ochoa" would have never even given a passing thought to retiring from the PGA at age 28 so that he could start a family. Especially if he was the No. 1-ranked golfer in the world, as is Lorena Ochoa.

Lorena Ochoa has sat atop the LPGA golf rankings for the last three years. She's been one of the most dominant female golfers of the last decade and has risen to iconic status in her native country of Mexico, which has taken to her in a way usually reserved only for soccer stars.

And yet, Ochoa, a newlywed, told the media on Friday during a news conference that she is happily giving it all up.

Why?

I think my "Lorenzo" analogy gave it away. So that she can settle down with her husband and start a family in a year or two.

Sigh.

This is the point in the story where I turn to my husband and say, "See the kind of choices that women have to make?!?"

Only, in this case, I don't think Ochoa needed to make this decision. At least not now anyway.

She says she's happy, joyful even. She says that this is the perfect time to retire, and who am I not to believe her, or to criticize? Her personal decisions are none of my business.

But -

She is just 28 years old, for goodness sakes. A baby, practically. Not only does Ochoa still have plenty of good golf left in her, she's also got plenty of time to work on a family.

Realistically, her biological clock is ticking barely at whisper level.

But here's what stinks about being a woman.

All of us, even those with the most satisfying, rewarding, fast-paced and lucrative careers, reach a crossroads in life regarding work and family. And it happens at different times for different people.

But, rest assured, it does happen.

It's the question all of us ask ourselves: "Do I want to be a Mom, or do I want to be a career woman?"

Oh, I know. There are those of us who do both. There are those of us who do both pretty well, too.

But it's not easy. And in our minds, it's never, ever, ever just so on either side.

If you're trying to get ahead at work, you feel like you're not around enough for your kids. If you hold back at work so that you can be more available for your kids, you feel like your career is being compromised.

Name me one super successful career woman who feels like she could also win "Mother of the Year." Go ahead, I dare you.

She doesn't exist.

I think that's what scares Ochoa. She's used to being the best at what she does and anything less probably wouldn't sit well with her.

That's not to say that Ochoa couldn't still be ranked No. 1 in the world after becoming a mother. But honestly, most mothers I know feel like a jack-of-all-trades, and a master of none.

Ochoa admitted during her news conference that, having already reached the top and having achieved pretty much all of her goals in golf, she was having a hard enough time maintaining the focus she needed to stay No. 1.

Imagine how hard it would be to maintain the intense focus necessary for a professional golf tournament when you are constantly wondering how your child was doing at home without you.

That's what mothers do. Non-stop multitasking, mental, physical and otherwise, even when we shouldn't.

"When I was playing (recently in Asia), it became clear to me that I just didn't want to be out there," Ochoa said Friday. "I kept thinking about other things, about how I wanted to be home and close to my family."

If that's the case, then Ochoa is making the right choice.

It's just too bad that she couldn't have held out a wee bit longer. The world is losing a great young golfer.

Then again, it's probably gaining someone who will be a really good mom.

It's not a bad compromise. But, it's a compromise nonetheless.

pbabcock@dailyherald.com