Zambrano to the 'pen? Shirley you can't be serious

Over the weekend, someone I trust in baseball mentioned that he'd heard a rumor Carlos Zambrano might be ticketed for the bullpen.

Now, I know Lou Piniella often appears to have lost his mind, or at least misplaced it, but my response was, and I think this is verbatim, "Zambrano to the pen is without a doubt the dumbest idea I've ever heard."

Thing is, we say that and then you know you can come up with 10 things dumber you've heard just within the last week.

Usually.

In this case, I really can't think of a more ridiculous idea.

OK, Zambrano hasn't been great yet this year, but he hasn't been terrible, either, since his horrific Opening Day start in Atlanta.

Over his next 3 starts, he went 1-1 in 18 innings with a 4.00 ERA, 25 strikeouts, 8 walks and 20 hits.

The Cubs are 1-3 in his 4 starts, but 3 of them were good enough that they could be 3-1 in those starts if they had played better baseball.

Not pretty numbers, but fairly typical of Zambrano over the last couple years.

Given time, you have to think Zambrano would have leveled off and landed somewhere around his average of the last two seasons, which is 12-6 in 179 innings with a 3.85 ERA.

Not great for a guy you're paying to be your ace, but it is what it is, so you keep running him out there because you have three more years of him at $18 million annually.

My guess is this is a temporary move designed to shock Zambrano and the rest of the team into realizing it's not spring training anymore.

This sort of demotion can be looked at as sheer panic only 14 games into the season and the stuff of absolutely lunacy from a manager who often appears to have gone 'round the bend, as it were.

Or perhaps it's a purpose pitch thrown right at the head of a guy who can handle it, hoping all the Alfonso Sorianos of the squad see it and understand the alarm clock has been blaring for two years and all they've done is hit the snooze button over and over again.

It doesn't help that the highly paid John Grabow and Jeff Samardzija have been terrible, leaving the rest of the pen to do their work for them, but even with that it's difficult to believe this is anything other than a short-term, shock therapy type strike.

It's so early that for the purpose of being able to get through this baseball season, which began only two weeks ago and has 166 days remaining, I'm choosing to assume that Zambrano will miss only a start or three.

When asked if the move was temporary, Piniella told the media in New York that, "This could be not temporary."

Typically strange Piniella wording aside, Piniella added, "I told him we really needed him in the bullpen. He said he would do what's best for the team. I'm very appreciative. We've talked about maturing. This proves it to me."

OK, that's fabulous, but you have to think the Cubs will find help elsewhere in short relief, and that they're more likely to bench or platoon the clown in left before they leave Zambrano in the bullpen permanently, and pay him all that money to be a 1-inning guy.

He's their ace and if he's dispatched forever to a place starters go when they can no longer be trusted, if he's truly not one of their five best starters, then the Cubs are in really serious trouble and this season has been flushed before it's even a month old.

Besides, if you can't trust him to start, how in the name of Lynn McGlothen and all that's holy can you trust him in the eighth inning?

See, this makes no sense from any standpoint other than the incredible reach here that this has been done mostly to shake up - and wake up - the team.

If it's not that, if Lou believes this is really some sort of solution, the Cubs can help Piniella immediately before they leave New York.

They can drop him off at Bellevue.

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