Don't bother trying to keep up with 'The Joneses'
"The Joneses" begs to be a farce.
It pleads to be funnier.
More acerbic.
More outrageous.
More critical of the consumer culture that eats away at American spirituality by focusing on material possessions instead of the things that really matter.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Writer/director/producer Derrick Borte will have none of that.
He thinks "The Joneses" should be a ponderously serious commentary weighed down by soap-operatic subplots and capped with a forced ending that no thinking viewer will buy for a moment.
Not even at Walmart prices.
"The Joneses" (as in keeping up with ...) move into a posh, stone-built mini-mansion in a super upscale section of town.
Steve Jones (David Duchovny), his wife Kate (Demi Moore), their son Mick (Ben Hollingsworth) and daughter Jen (Amber Heard) seem to be the perfect family.
Perfect, no. Family, no.
They're employees of a marketing firm that dispatches acting salespeople into key locations to generate buzz for products and services.
The Joneses have the best and latest in everything: TV screens, beer, golf clubs, cosmetics, cars, jewelry and more. They're all expensive and oh-so elite.
Their boss KC (Lauren Hutton) lays the plan out for Steve: "When people want you, they want what you get."
So, the Joneses have been hired to be wanted - the parents by social groups and country clubs, the kids by easily impressed high school students.
The next-door neighbors, Larry and Summer (Chicago actors Gary Cole and Glenne Headly), love the Joneses, and can't wait to run out and buy their latest gadgets and toys.
What a wonderfully disturbing premise for a movie!
Sure, it's all fun and games.
Until someone falls deep into debt and decides to take a swim in the family pool while strapped to a gas grill.
By the time this dramatic downer throws a wet blanket on "The Joneses," the film has already started to implode.
Jen turns out to be a serial seductress who puts the moves on "Dad" their first night as a family.
Mick is adored by everyone at school, but drags his feet about finding a steady girlfriend, as instructed.
Kate wants to achieve the company's highest level so badly she refuses to accept Steve's feelings for her.
Steve, meanwhile, becomes the closest thing to a human being, a disturbing development insomuch as Duchovny projects all the warmth of a life-size Storm Trooper display at the Sharper Image.
Had Borte pushed "The Joneses" into the realm of hyperbolic farce, its warning to consumers to wake up and smell the expensive French roast special could have become a premium satire.
Instead, it's strictly discount moviemaking.
<p class="News">"The Joneses"</p>
<p class="News">★★</p>
<p class="News"><b>Starring:</b> Demi Moore, David Duchovny, Amber Heard, Gary Cole, Glenne Headly, Lauren Hutton</p>
<p class="News"><b>Directed by:</b> Derrick Borte</p>
<p class="News"><b>Other:</b> A Roadside Attractions release. Rated R for drug use, drinking, language, nudity, sexual situations. 93 minutes</p>