On this day and every day, don't drink and drive
This year marks the 10th anniversary of the death of my daughter, Candace Wesolowski. She was an 18 year old student at the University of Illinois at Chicago and a graduate of Hinsdale School High School.
She was killed by two drunk drivers on Dec. 26, 1999, in Downers Grove as she and her longtime friends, Brennan, Adam and Dan, walked down the streets of 41st and Lindley.
Two men, who had been drinking all day, left a neighborhood bar and got in their cars. They were friends. One drove a Black Jeep and the other a Red Talon. The Black Jeep cut across a lawn at high rate of speed and took the group by surprise, slamming into Candace, hurling her small body forward about 100 feet. She landed facedown, unconscious. In seconds, a Red Talon appeared, driving fast and erratically and in an effort to flee the scene, ran over Candace as she lay on the street, killing her instantly.
She had a fatal head trauma by the crush of the cars. I call that a violent crime. Both men fled the scene. They were eventually found and brought to justice. Both men were sentenced for this violent crime. They are now out of jail.
I have forgiven them. I hope when this day arrives every year, that at least they remember the life they took. I hope that they realize that they could have made a better choice by taking a cab, walking or having a designated driver.
But they believed, like so many people, that they had a right to get in their cars and drive drunk. It doesn't matter who else is out there driving to work, driving home, going to school or just walking.
I decided to mark this 10th anniversary of Candace's death by having Father Ed from Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church meet me and my family at Candace's grave. We gathered at 3 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 26 as a family who misses Candace so much, even 10 years later.
It was beautiful out there with white fluffy snow gently falling on us. The young children in our family ran and jumped in the snow, loving every minute of it. We were not cold. We only wanted to celebrate her beautiful young life as it was. As Father Ed poured holy water on Candace's jet black monument, he blessed her resting place again, as was done 10 years ago. We placed lit votive candles around the monument. It was peaceful and serene.
Candace's life ended because of the preventable, senseless crime of drinking and driving. We need to make drinking and driving as unacceptable to society as smoking. It's an insult to blow smoke in someone's face. It's as insulting to get in a car and drink and drive. People really do die because of this selfish and insulting act. It takes a long time to kill someone with cigarette smoke.
It takes an instant to kill someone with a car.
Some people who habitually drink and drive believe crashing while driving drunk only happens to other people. This crime happens all the time. I am a survivor. I have taken the death of my daughter and turned it into my cause. With help from AAIM, (Alliance Against Intoxicated Motorists) I have a cause that I believe in and that is to eradicate driving drunk from our roads forever.
• Lorraine Wesolowski resides in Burr Ridge. AAIM is a nonprofit organization that helps victims of DUI, emotionally, legally and financially. Our Web site is www.aaim1.org. and candacewesolowski.com.