'Alvin' sequel doesn't have many laughs

It amazes me how parents will shield young children from movies containing objectionable elements such as sex and violence, but cheerfully escort them to see simple-minded movies so soulless and unintelligently constructed that they qualify as child pandering.

And that was the hit comedy "Alvin and the Chipmunks" two years ago.

Now, 20th Century Fox has unleashed "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel," a follow-up whose singular bit of cleverness resides in its title.

Actor Jason Lee reportedly didn't have enough time to star in this movie as chipmunk wrangler Dave Seville, so a convenient stage accident puts him in traction at a French hospital for the duration of this insufferable story. (I'm guessing Lee read the script and begged to be let out of making this film, but had to contractually appear in it.)

The adorable chipmunks - Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) - go back home where Dave's doofus nephew Toby (a comically flatlined Zachary Levi) gets them off to high school every morning.

At school, the jocks make Alvin their mascot because he has great hands (paws?) for catching balls. Seduced by popularity, Alvin leaves Simon and Theodore behind. But that's not even the main plot.

The school's music program is going down the financial drain, and the principal (Wendy Malick) wants the Chipmunks to save it by winning $25,000 in prize money at an upcoming talent contest.

Their win isn't assured, for their unctuous nemesis from two years ago, Ian Hawk (David Cross), returns with a plan to kick-start his lagging career. He reps the Chipettes, female chipmunks Eleanor (Amy Poehler), Jennette (Anna Faris) and Brittany (Christine Applegate).

And they've just entered high school, too.

"The Squeakquel" is directed by the erratic Betty Thomas, a former Chicago schoolteacher and Second City alum who gave us the inspired comedy "The Brady Bunch Movie" along with the embarrassments "Troop Beverly Hills" and "I Spy."

"Squeakquel" could have used original songs (the chipmunks used to do that), but it falls back on snippets of dull, market-proven baby boomer tunes with a few current, overused top 40 hits in the mix.

In a condescending move to appeal to indiscriminative adults, the screenplay is sprinkled with Alvin's cheap and pointless allusions to adult movies, such as "The Silence of the Lambs" (the fava beans speech) and "Taxi Driver" (the "You talkin' to me?' speech).

Movie allusions, of course, are the most base and brainless of comic devices, except for flatulence jokes for laughs.

Oops. I almost forgot.

That's in "The Squeakquel," too.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel"

Rating: ★

Starring: Jason Lee, Justin Long, Amy Poehler, Anna Faris, Christine Applegate, Jesse McCartney

Directed by: Betty Thomas

Other: A 20th Century Fox release. Rated PG. 88 minutes