High school horror flick 'Jennifer's Body' fails the fear test
You'd think a movie titled "Jennifer's Body" would have Jennifer's body in it.
You know, all of Jennifer's body?
Nope. This high school horror film shows quick shots of Jennifer's arms, legs, backside, cleavage and face, and that's about it.
"Jennifer's Body Parts" would be a more accurate title, but probably not as marketable, I'm guessing.
There are two reasons that America's moviegoers have been waiting to see "Jennifer's Body."
One is the much-touted lesbian kissing scene between Amanda Seyfried and hottie star Megan Fox, fresh off her hit action film "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," where she spent a lot of time bouncing around in slow motion and moistening her pneumatic lips.
The second is screenwriter and Lemont native Diablo Cody, whose first movie, the wonderful and witty "Juno," deservedly earned the Oscar for best screenplay.
The idea that Cody would apply her droll, wicked sense of humor and her affinity for clever pop-culture references to the exploitative teen horror genre seemed irresistible.
Yet, "Jennifer's Body" never achieves the creepy scares its lurid TV commercials promise or the combustible comic payoffs that "Juno" had in spades. (Although "Juno" star J.K. Simmons evokes laughs as a sensitive teacher, inexplicably missing his left hand.)
It's as if director Karyn Kusama couldn't commit to making a truly horrific comedy or a really funny horror tale, so she settled for something safer in between.
Kusama, who directed the 2000 indie fave "Girlfight" and 2005's zestless sci-fi action film "Aeon Flux" (or as I call it, Charlize Theron's "Catwoman"), falls back on the genre's tired, cheap clichés, such as faces suddenly appearing in windows or characters being startled by animals lurching into a scene.(Here, a crow and rats.)
Fox stars as Jennifer, who has been best friends with Needy (Seyfried) since childhood.
Now in high school in a small town called Devil's Kettle, the two have their friendship tested after they barely escape from a burning tavern, and Jennifer climbs into a van with creepy members of a mysterious rock band called Low Shoulder.
(Later, Jennifer tells Needy, "They're really agents of Satan with awesome haircuts!")
When Jennifer returns covered in blood, she has become a seductive demon feeding on boys and upchucking a black concoction Needy describes as "roadkill mixed with sewing needles."
Needy tries to help Jennifer, but when male students start showing up with their innards chewed out, Needy suspects it's just a matter of time before her demonic pal makes a play for her nice-guy boyfriend, Chip (the affable Johnny Simmons).
Most people probably know that Cody spent some time working as a stripper and sex-phone operator, and women in those professions don't generally witness the male gender on its best behavior.
I do not know the extent that Cody's view of men from her professional experience came to bear on her writing, but significantly, her she-demon greatly enjoys laying waste to all males, be they jocks, wimps, nice guys, Goths, dweebs or jerks.
Cody's voice-over narration, an effective device for Ellen Page in "Juno," feels much more gratuitous here, especially when Needy feeds us information we already know, such as telling us she thinks something evil is going to happen.
And thanks to Jennifer, it does.
<p class="factboxheadblack">"Jennifer's Body"</p> <p class="News">Two stars</p> <p class="News"><b>Starring: </b>Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, J.K. Simmons. </p> <p class="News"><b>Directed by:</b> Karyn Kusama</p> <p class="News"><b>Other:</b> A 20th Century Fox release. Rated R for drug use, language, sexual situations, violence. 102 minutes.</p>