Naperville mom starts group for teen girls to support one another

Raevyn Whitfield, 16, of Aurora, has learned to walk away from confrontations in school and not let negativity get her down.

Ciara Scarver, 14, of Naperville, is becoming more open about her feelings and knows she has somewhere to turn if she needs help.

That's exactly what Naperville mom Tiffany Stephens had in mind when she started Sistahood in February for teen girls in Indian Prairie Unit District 204.

"The whole thing about Sistahood is giving the girls role models to make positive decisions, build character and self-esteem," she said.

The group that started with five girls in February grew to 65 by March. Two hundred will be registered when the group starts again Aug. 31, Stephens said.

The girls meet three times a week at Fox Valley Park District's Eola Community Center to socialize, get help with schoolwork and learn about nutrition and fitness. They go on field trips once a month.

Whitfield recalled a White Sox game they attended in April.

"It was my first baseball game," she said. "We had a blast."

The girls also have gone on field trips during the summer. A group of them recently received three days of coaching from the Golf for Christ League of DuPage AME Church. For many, it was their first experience with golf, Stephens said.

"Some of them live around the golf course," she said.

Examples to follow

Stephens, a single mother of four, says she got the idea for Sistahood after seeing her own teen daughters, Jasmine Bell, almost 16, and Demitra Bell, 14, hang out with friends who complained they had nothing to do.

"A lot of them have told me if we didn't have this program, they'd just be just going home and watching TV," she said.

Stephens - a former home day-care provider, professional singer and private investigator - thought back to her own childhood in Cabrini Green. Even though she lived in one of Chicago's most dangerous neighborhoods, she was surrounded by a loving family that had strong spiritual foundations. She remembers praying to God for help and protection when she was as young as 5.

"I come from an area and I didn't let it beat me. I beat it," she said.

Other caring adults joined her parents in helping keep her on the right path, Stephens said. She danced as a member of the Jesse White Tumblers, the group formed by now Secretary of State Jesse White as an enrichment and juvenile delinquency prevention program. She still revels in memories of performing with the group at Six Flags Great America and at a Chicago Bulls game. Stephens also joined other young people in doing volunteer work as part of an Explorers Scout troop sponsored by the Chicago Police Department's 19th District.

The Jesse White Tumblers and Explorers provided an example to her to start her own group, Stephens said.

"It would be selfish of me not to even help and start something that I know is needed," she said.

Sistahood teaches about African-American history and culture, but is open to all ethnic groups. Girls from Mexican, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Indian and Caucasian backgrounds will be part of it this fall, Stephens said.

"Naperville is getting to be diverse and that's what we want to be," she said.

Before getting the group off the ground, Stephens talked with Dr. Joy Ross, assistant principal at Waubonsie Valley High School who is now assistant principal at District 204's new Metea High School, opening this new school year. Giving the group her support, Ross credits Stephens with involving the girls in helping to organize Sistahood.

"The girls were very proud once they got it up and running," she said.

Ross said there is a connection between the social activities of students and how well they do in school.

"As educators, we know students engaged in constructive activity outside the school are stronger academically," she said.

Positive possibilities

Stephens said she saw her own daughter's grades go up as she spent less time socializing in school and instead told her friends she would see them afterward at the Sistahood meeting, she said. She's seen similar changes in other girls, she said.

"A lot of the girls actually know what their goals are," she said.

This year with the school boundary changes, Stephens will have one daughter at Waubonsie Valley High School and one daughter at the new Metea Valley High School in Aurora. Sistahood will be at both schools, as well as Neuqua Valley.

Stephens, the vice president and a driver with Kids Teen Rider, a nonprofit group providing transportation service for young people, picks the girls up to take them to the Sistahood meetings at Eola Community Center. They meet from 3:30 to 6 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays, and again from 10 a.m. to noon Saturdays.

Mondays are devoted to socializing. On Wednesdays, they receive tutoring and help each other in subjects where they are having difficulties. Saturdays are devoted to health and fitness.

Stephens said she plans to hold cooking classes so the girls can help out their mothers at home and have discussions of topics that range from researching jobs and colleges to addressing domestic violence and Internet safety. She emphasizes that the girls need to respect themselves and others, and says that religion must play a role.

"That should be part of our everyday life," she said.

Stephens has enlisted four churches, along with parents and teachers, to help.

She's discussed the group with Naperville Mayor George Pradel and Naperville Park District to enlist their support. A social worker with the Naperville Police Department will be teaching a life skills class to the girls this fall, she said.

Stephens has even contacted producers of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in hope of getting Oprah's Angel Network involved and inviting Oprah to give an inspirational talk to the girls.

"It will become a national program, that's my goal," she said.

That's just the kind of positive thinking Stephens hopes the girls adopt for themselves.

For information on Sistahood, contact Tiffany Stephens at (630) 405-4572 or at Kidsteenrider@aol.com.

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