And now, for someone completely different...

Where to begin...

I'm 47 but my age in Wii Sports is 36. I've maintained the same spare tire on my otherwise bony physique since my days wearing Sears "Husky" jeans, the same balding pattern the past dozen years. I'm a tracksuit kind of guy - unless I can get away with a concert T-shirt and shorts.

I graduated in 1980 from Wheaton Central High School, eventually converted to a junior high and, soon enough, to a TIF-funded mixed-use development with retention pond.

When I was good and ready I matriculated from Indiana University with mediocre grades, long gnarled hair and a degree in mass communications. The highlight was four hours yelling in a tree in March after the Hoosiers won the 1981 NCAA men's basketball title.

My guide is the Golden Rule. I very much regret I haven't always executed it perfectly.

I drive my late mom's 1992 Buick Roadmaster you can see miles off. I'm stuck at "medium" on Guitar Hero. I recycle spent toilet paper rolls. I will sign e-mails "Live Long and Prosper." I'm a father of two.

My wife, Laurie, and I have had two box turtles since 1988. My fast-food fantasy is gyros, pizza puff, milk shake. I play 12-inch softball. I catch myself whistling that tune from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."

Please pardon the self-indulgence. My pal John Lemon, Tri-Cities sports editor, had asked me to write an introductory Sidelines column. After a decade helping cover local sports out of the Daily Herald's DuPage bureau, this academic year I'll also be helping out in Kane County. I apologize upfront for the run-on sentences and made-up grammar.

I know you folks could give a whit that my favorite band is the Canadian power trio, Rush, or that I can't stand beans.

What's important to you, and to me, is doing the best I possibly can to highlight people, places and things in your prep sports universe.

I'll tell you straightaway I'm far from a perfect reporter. I'll ask the occasional lamebrain question. I recoil at controversy and negative stuff. I'm lax checking message boards. I make a mistake now and then.

When that happens I emerge from the inevitable blue funk telling myself I need to get back on the horse harder and smarter, because the good news is I also bring passion and sincere respect for high school sports, and an open heart and mind.

I've gone downstate to cover finals in baseball and basketball and about 20 football championships - largely thanks to late, great Driscoll - but a vignette from a past boys state track meet will explain where my sentiments lie.

The slowest athlete that weekend, running a distant last in the Class A 3,200-meter run, fell four times over the last 100 meters. By the time he finally wobbled across the finish line the entire crowd at O'Brien Stadium was on its feet cheering and applauding. The slowest athlete in the field. The reciprocal display of human character and compassion was the most inspiring moment I've witnessed, sports or otherwise.

The point is I intend to fill this space with brief tales of inspiration and achievement and, hopefully, with a dollop of humor. I welcome topics across the diverse and colorful prep sports palette. I figure that water polo player is busting her gut as hard as that football player is and, therefore, at least in this column, worthy of a couple inches of copy.

I've lived in Wheaton my entire life save my time at Indiana and a dozen years in Chicago, uh, "finding myself" before heading here for good. I enjoy some contact with local ties - recent local graduates Tim Janeway of St. Charles North and Jake Conforti of Geneva are sons of former high school classmates, for example, and years ago I worked with Aurora Central Catholic track coach Troy Kerber - but most of you won't know me from Adam. Or at best as a byline.

I kind of like anonymity. It's better for overhearing conversations or, as some people call it, spying. If fact, that picture over there was taken out of a Target ad. I look more like Kevin Bacon.

Enough about me. Tell me what you think. Use my e-mail address listed below to inform me of the interesting, the offbeat, the inspiring. I've been told I have a nice phone voice, too. Give me a call at (630) 955-3550.

Except during that last week of March 2010. I'm counting on Rush to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. I need to be there.

doberhelman@dailyherald.com