NIU victim's dad to lead grief support group
The father of a student who died in the 2008 shootings at Northern Illinois University will lead a new support group for parents who have lost children.
Gary Parmenter of Westchester, whose 20-year-old son Dan was among the five victims, will head up a new suburban chapter of The Compassionate Friends, a nonprofit, nondenominational organization that provides support to adults grappling with the death of a child.
The new chapter will meet monthly in the Catalina Garcia classroom of the Cicero Community Center - a room dedicated in memory of another 20-year-old NIU shooting victim.
The first Spanish language meeting is Thursday, and the first meeting in English is Tuesday, Aug. 11. Anyone in need of support is invited to attend.
Parmenter's gone through a difficult grieving process these past 18 months and hopes to share what he's learned to help others experiencing the nightmare of losing a child.
"It's important for parents to know they're not alone, and to have a confidential environment to express whatever feelings or emotions they have. It's a process that takes a long, long time, no matter who you are," Parmenter said.
Giving back is something that was always important to Gary Parmenter and his children. Dan Parmenter participated in numerous service projects throughout his life, his father said.
"It just keeps (Dan) close at hand, when I can do this in memory of him, to help other parents to try and figure out the position they're in and why their lives are never going to be the same again," he said.
Besides leading this support group, Parmenter also co-facilitates grief support meetings at two local churches and writes letters to families who have lost children. After the shootings at NIU, he received similar letters and said they helped him cope.
"I couldn't believe how many dozens of dozens of people I met last year, and in talking with them, they'd tell me about the loss they had of a child. You just don't realize how many parents are losing children," he said. "I want to reach other families that find themselves in a realm of reality that they never thought existed. When all of a sudden the life they had is no longer."
The Compassionate Friends is a 40-year-old organization with more than 600 chapters nationwide. For more information, visit compassionatefriends.org. To contact the new Cicero chapter, e-mail tcfeastsuburban@aol.com.