Blagojevich's next trick, wearing his bathrobe to court?

When Milorad the Magnificent thanked a federal judge for sparing him the gagging chore of eating jungle bugs, he was partially correct.

You see, the man who was Illinois' chief executive just three months ago, has reason to be concerned about bugs. But not the kind with pincers, bulging eyeballs and radiation-resistant coats.

Even if Rod Blagojevich was allowed to swallow all the creepy crawlers in Costa Rica's rain forest, he would not be in as much jeopardy as he is because of another kind of bug that has invaded his life.

I'm talking about the feared "fibbia earwig."

That is just the bug's retail name. Fibbia stands for FBI. Earwig is the electronic bug that captured many of Milorad's conniving conversations on recording tape.

The official scientific name for the organism now plaguing Rod is acoustic feces ala deep.

By whichever name though, there are those trying to convince Milorad the Magnificent that he needs to be more concerned about how the acoustic bugs will affect his long term survival than some wiggly creatures from the forest floor.

It was the acoustic bugs that propelled Blagojevich from his bed last December; that allegedly captured him talking about the sale of Obama's Senate seat and discussing pay-to-play schemes; that resulted in his impeachment; and that has apparently infected him with a common-sense devouring disease.

The feds usually don't like it when criminal defendants try to make fun of the process we all call justice, for fear it will distract the judge and the jury that might eventually decide the case.

It would appear that this man, who just a few months ago was in charge of America's fifth largest state, has been reduced to little more than a cheap stunt artist.

For instance, you might think that Blagojevich is no different than the Chicago mobster Vic "Popeye" Arrigo.

When he got in trouble, Vic always liked to tell judges how he got his nickname. After walking into a tavern, Vic would explain to the judge, he would pop out his glass eye and lay it on top of the bar. Right there on top of his cash.

Of course the judge would always ask why he did that and Popeye would be ready with the punch line.

"So I could keep my eye on my money," he would say.

If Rod had a marble eye, couldn't you hear him delivering that line?

Bada boom.

But Blagojevich has both of his eyeballs. We know this to be true because when he was in Hollywood last week auditioning for an NBC show, he couldn't keep them off of a buxom, blonde who was in the running to be his co-star.

I think Blagojevich is taking stage directions from another guy: the late Vincent Gigante. "The Chin" they called him in New York.

Gigante was a mob boss and for decades a colorful leader of the Genovese crime family.

It was when the feds first came after Gigante in 1969 that his very successful legal defense strategy began to take shape: he was insane.

To prove it, The Chin would wander into court wearing his stained bathrobe and smelly slippers.

If this unusual courtroom attire wasn't enough to prove he was too ill to be prosecuted, The Chin's attorneys would have doctors testify that he was psychotic, schizophrenic, etc...

And he would always get off.

For future defense purposes, Gigante made the ruse part of his daily routine. Knowing that the FBI was always watching him, he would walk the streets in his robe, smoking cigarette butts from the gutter; having angry discussions with invisible friends and urinating now and then on the sidewalk.

Eventually, after 30 years, the feds got Gigante to admit it was all an act and always had been. He finally pleaded guilty and died in prison.

But, his wacky performance had bought him 30 years of freedom.

So we can all have a good time making fun of the former leader of Illinois-a man who once saw himself as running for president.

However, when Milorad the Magnificent was dangled by his ankles as we saw last week in that impressive Hollywood screen test, you have to wonder whether he was doing it to avoid prison shackling in real life... a confinement that would require the "testicular virility" he claims to have.

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC 7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com.