Church calm center of the storm in triple homicide

Through a week of horror and pain, St. Peter Lutheran Church and its staff has been a rock to the Engelhardt family and their friends.

After the slayings of Alan Engelhardt, 57, his daughter Conant High School senior Laura, 18, and her maternal grandmother, Marlene Gacek, the Schaumburg church was where people gathered to pray and find solace.

It was the refuge that college student Jeff Engelhardt came to after learning of the fatal stabbings of his father, sister and grandmother at their Hoffman Estates home Friday. In the wake of the tragedy, church staff have visited Conant High School and ministered at St. Alexius Medical Center, where Jeff's mother, Shelly, is hospitalized with multiple wounds.

"We're the one solid thing that people can reach out to and know they'll get help," associate pastor, the Rev. Bill Cate said Tuesday.

In talking with family and friends, many of them children and teens, St. Peter's ministers are facing some unanswerable questions.

"One younger girl asked, 'Pastor Cate, why did this happen?'" Cate recalled. "I have a three-word answer, 'I don't know.' We can't pretend to know the mind of God."

His advice is simple, "remember what Laura would want you to do - keep living."

In the midst of grief, Cate wants to emphasize hope.

"God uses all things for good ultimately," he said. "We have just come out of Easter season where the message was - there's hope in the resurrection. We have the promise that on that day, everyone who has died with faith in Christ will be reunited. We'll see them all, we'll know them all, they're waiting for us."

As for the criminal case against D'Andre Howard, the troubled 20-year-old charged with killing the Engelhardts and Gacek, Cate refers to the Bible, "Judge not and you will not be judged. Condemn not and you will not be condemned," he quoted. "It's not for us to decide."

One way the congregation is channeling its grief is through donating to the Engelhardt family.

"I haven't had to say, 'Let's start a fund.' People have come to me and said, 'we want to donate,'" Cate said. Information on the fund set up at Heritage Bank of Schaumburg is on the Web site church.stpeterlcms.com.

For Cate, the Rev. David Hudak and other church workers, it's been a difficult personal loss. "The entire family was a member of the church," Hudak said Saturday.

As a student pastor, Cate got to know Laura and her friends teaching his first confirmation class. "They put me through the wringer," he recalled smiling.

Cate has used his former student's words to offer comfort.

"Laura was famous for saying, 'Quit being such a girl!'" Cate said. "I asked the kids: 'What do you think Laura would say to you right now?' One girl said, 'She'd say, stop your crying.'"

Cate said he draws inspiration from co-workers, fellow pastors and scripture. "But those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles," he said quoting from Isiah.

The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, which St. Peter's is affiliated with, provides training in counseling for priests in theology school. The church also organizes informal support groups for clergy. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, it established a critical-incident support team, which can give guidance to ministers dealing with crises.

"The idea is to be a pastoral presence to the pastor," said the Rev. David Muench, executive director of the Synod's Commission on Ministerial Growth and Support.

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