Deerfield soldier paints a portrait of war with 'Killer Blue' unit

Spc. Nathan Stopps of Deerfield expected to feel liberated once he arrived home safely.

But he didn't feel any different.

Stopps was part of Killer Blue - a unit of the Fort Hood-based 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment's 3rd Squadron - one of the last Army units to serve a 15-month combat tour in Iraq, in the most dangerous city in a country ravaged by war and sectarian strife.

While the unit was still in Iraq, the Pentagon cut combat tours to 12 months.

It was a time when hearts were broken, blood was spilled, resolve was tested. Two of the two dozen Killer Blue soldiers died.

Nearly six years after American troops invaded Iraq, the men of "Killer Blue" came home - matured, scarred, looking forward to resuming their lives, finding themselves suddenly startled by what used to be routine.

The unit's motto is "Baptized by fire, came out steel," and it fits, because the men of Killer Blue are not broken. They count themselves better soldiers now, and believe they'll be better dads, husbands and sons, masters of their fate.

Yet the struggle to be average Americans again plays out in different ways, some stark, some subtle. Stopps wonders why the sight of a fallen comrade's coffee mug brought a torrent of tears, while the death of another has left him dry-eyed. He can't explain it.

But it was also a time of deep camaraderie and loyalty, of adventure, of growth.

Situated at the intersection of two of the most dangerous roads in the northern city of Mosul, Killer Blue staked its claim in the rubble of a former municipal yard that served as a joint U.S.-Iraqi base. As part of the U.S. military plan to quell violence in Iraqi cities, troops moved off large bases and into combat outposts, living among the Iraqi people and providing security.

Some nights, they slept with their boots on when the radio calls kept coming. They could be on the scene of a bombing within seven minutes. They were hit by roadside bombs, small-arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades countless times, earning the platoon 13 Purple Hearts.

Stopps kept a detailed journal of the deployment and wrote raps about his experiences. He was wounded on Oct. 15, 2008, along with several other soldiers - hit in the neck by shrapnel, some of which still remains because doctors deemed that safer than trying to get all of it.

As he adjusts to life at home, Stopps is also adjusting to the idea that being a soldier might not be the only thing that defines him.

"Strangers are never going to write to me again and tell him how great I am, elementary schools aren't going to send me big packages again with stick figure drawings with big handwriting saying how I'm a hero and stuff like that," he said.

"I think I need to feel satisfied with what I've done and not trying to tell people that I met that I'm some big veteran, not being the defining thing about me."

<div class="infoBox"> <h1>More Coverage of Killer Blue</h1> <div class="infoBoxContent"> <div class="infoArea"> <div class="moreSubHead"> Stories </div> <ul class="moreLinks"> <li><a href="/story/?id=280803" class="mediaItem">'A privilege to fight'</a></li> </ul> <h2>Video</h2> <ul class="video"> <li><A href= "http://video.ap.org/?t=By%20Section/U.S.&g=0316dv_killer_blue1&f=ILARL"> Part 1 </a></li> <li><A href= "http://video.ap.org/?t=By%20Section/U.S.&g=0316dv_killer_blue2&f=ILARL"> Part 2 </a></li> <li><A href= "http://video.ap.org/?t=By%20Section/U.S.&g=0316dv_killer_blue3&f=ILAR"> Part 3 </a></li> <li><A href= "http://video.ap.org/?t=By%20Section/U.S.&g=0316dv_killer_blue4&f=ILARL"> Part 4 </a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div>