Flying the family just isn't what it used to be

Recently, while returning on a flight from Salt Lake City, I watched a young mother's trip go completely downhill and it had nothing to do with moguls or ski lifts. This poor mother boarded the plane with a 3-month-old baby in an infant seat in one hand, a diaper bag over one shoulder and a child's backpack over the other. Clenched in her other hand was a crying 2-year old who had managed to remove her shoes somewhere on the jetway. The poor mother had the shoes tucked under her chin. As she boarded the plane the flight attendant told the mother the floors were dirty and she should pick up the child.

"How?" asked the mother as she attempted to pick up the child only to have her diaper bag fly into the head of a seated passenger.

The only response from the flight attendant was to tell the woman to be careful.

"Be careful," mumbled my seatmate. "If I were that mother, I would carefully slam that bag into that flight attendant's head for not lifting a finger to help."

During the glory days of flying, traveling with youngsters was child's play. Airlines always let young families pre-board. Flight attendants helped families get settled into their seats and would often hold infants to give parents a break. Planes were stocked with coloring books and small toys to entertain the tots and disposable diapers and baby food for emergency situations. Portable bassinettes attached to the bulkheads and became cozy beds for sleeping infants.

But all that service flew the coop years ago. Today, parents traveling with small children face a hostile environment, both from the airlines and the traveling public.

Many of the carriers require families to board with the masses. Single parents are often loaded down like pack mules. And because the airlines now charge for checked luggage, everybody carries on, which makes storage space an endangered species. Even umbrella strollers, which used to fit in overhead bins, often need to be checked.

While flying with youngsters may never again be a walk in the park, there are ways to keep a parent grounded. Here are a few ideas that work for some parents.

• Talk to your children. The first time 3-year-old Emma flew, she didn't know her princess doll would have to go through an X-ray machine or that she would need to take off her shoes. She dissolved in tears and her parents were so rattled they left one of their carry-on bags at security. Now, before they fly, they tell Emma exactly what will happen during the whole trip and Emma flies like a pro.

• Pack your carry-on carefully. When Kelly Cline travels, she packs several inexpensive new toys to entertain her 3-year-old. Consider using a backpack for your carry-on to keep your hands free. If you're not nursing your baby, be sure you have enough formula and diapers to cover a long delay. You can bring formula and gel-filled teething rings through security if you have a baby in tow.

• Pick your flight carefully. When Barbara Miller flies with her two youngsters, she chooses a flight that travels during nap time. She tries to book a flight that travels with a lighter load and she always books on nonstop flights.

• Pick your seats carefully. When Dianne Nill traveled to Europe with her infant, she asked for the bulkhead seat and spent most of her time banging her head against it. Because there was extra legroom and space for a small crib, bulkhead seats used to be prime seating for families. Today, bulkhead seats have less foot room and no storage space. You're better off with a regular row.

Gail Todd, a free-lance writer,worked as a flight attendant for more than 30years. She can be reached via e-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.