When the judge tells you to be quiet, you may want to be quiet

There are some pretty complex rules that have to be followed in a courtroom, but from time to time people have the most difficult time obeying the simple ones.

Take for instance the case of Sheena Varner, who earned herself five days in a room without a view Wednesday for failing to come to grips with the concept of "no talking."

Varner, 21, of Winthrop Harbor, was in Circuit Judge John Phillips' courtroom to lend moral support to her brother, Joshua Varner, 19, currently charged with residential burglary.

As she sat in the gallery, some sort of debate broke out between her and a couple of men seated near her that prompted the courtroom deputy to come over to the group and order them to pipe down.

The chatter continued, however, and aggravated Phillips to the point where he bounced his gavel once to draw attention and told Varner that because she could not keep quiet she would have to leave the courtroom.

Varner decided she could comply with that order, but as she was walking out of the courtroom, she launched into an audible but mostly undecipherable tirade complete with profanity.

Phillips sent the deputy to retrieve Varner, and after handling some business already before him, had her brought to the bench.

Phillips listened quietly as Varner explained how she believed she was being harassed by the two men she was arguing with and felt it necessary to stand up for herself.

Phillips, in turn, stood up for himself.

"I find that your conduct was vulgar and intended to disrupt the business of the court and that it did disrupt the business of the court," Phillips said. "I find you in direct criminal contempt of court, and sentence you to five days in jail."

Varner protested after the sentence was pronounced, but Phillips moved swiftly with his motion for her to reconsider.

"I will leave it up to you, young lady, but know that if you say one more word I will again find you in contempt of court," Phillips said. "The sentence I have already imposed can only get worse."

A suddenly silent Varner was then led from the courtroom.

Tax dodge

A warning from investigators at the Lake County state's attorney's office that the federal economic stimulus package only goes so far.

Making the cyber rounds these days is an all-so-official e-mail purporting to be from the Internal Revenue Service notifying the lucky recipient that he or she has a tax refund coming.

In one example sent this week, a man was told he has $869 ready to fall from the sky courtesy of Uncle Sam if he would only be so kind as to "click here" to access his refund.

To put it in official investigator language, har-de-har-har.

There is no refund, the e-mail did not come from the IRS and no one, under any circumstances, should follow the instruction to "click here" because it will only allow thieves to access information inside their computers.

As the popular saying goes, if you want free federal money, open a bank.

Heard in the hallway

Congratulations to Diane Flory, public information specialist and all-around walking encyclopedia of 19th Judicial Circuit information, on being honored for her 41 years of service to Lake County. Chief Judge James Booras said Flory is believed to be the longest-tenured public servant currently with county government.