Messy wrapper learns secrets to the perfect package

If you get a present from me, chances are the bow has fallen off in the car on the way over.

The end will feel kind of cushiony, since there's too much wrapping paper. If I'm feeling especially decorative, it may be tied up with curling ribbon.

This is provided I can find the wrapping paper, my scissors, Scotch tape and a box at the last minute.

But I'm tired of being the laughingstock of my family at Christmas. So I went to the experts - the gift-wrapping team at the Von Maur department store at Charlestowne Mall in St. Charles. They taught me what I need to know.

Space and supplies

Work space is key. They have high tables, and there's nothing on them but scissors, tape and ribbon dispensers - unlike my dining room table, so cluttered that I sometimes just wrap gifts on the floor.

"At Christmas, we'll have six (people) at a table," said Kris Mikel, store director, a 16-year Von Maur's veteran.

Wrapping paper is stored on spindles below. There are 10 kinds for the winter holidays; all are offered free with a Von Maur's purchase.

Mikel tears a sheet from a roll. Experience lets her eyeball how big a piece is needed.

Fold and trim

She centers the shirt box on the paper, then folds over the horizontal raw edges about an inch, "to make it look crisper."

Bringing both sides up to the middle, she secures them to each other with two pieces of tape on the back of the package. Von Maur wrappers try not to tape boxes closed, or attach paper to the box, because it will rip away part of the box when it is opened, preventing a recipient from reusing it.

It's on to the ends. Mine always end up lumpy.

Mikel folds the top flap down, then reveals the trade secret: "The biggest thing to make for that crisp look is to cut off any excess" on the top, she said. Bottom flap comes up, and the edge is folded over so it lines up with the edge of the box. Zip zip with the tape, spin the package to the other end, repeat.

Ditch the bows

Another key for me comes next: They don't do bows. Instead, the box gets a swath of wide ribbon vertically, held down by four pieces of criss-crossed tape, with a minimalist tail. (That way, the shopper can stack the gifts in a closet or slide them under a bed, without damaging a bow.)

A gold seal covers the tape, and a gift tag is slipped beneath the ribbon. And that's it: one minute, five seconds.

This doesn't include wrapping the gift inside in tissue paper. Or the Post-Its.

Post-Its?

They aren't decorative, but Post-It notes are a big help if you're wrapping a lot of presents.

If a customer comes in with more than one gift to be wrapped, the wrappers ask them to write down who is getting the gifts on separate notes. When the wrappers are done with a package, they stick that note to the outside.

"People are shopping year around. They may think they will remember, but ...," said Mikel, who lives in Lombard

I asked Mikel, and customer service manager Rachel Mennecke of Batavia, to then critique a package I had wrapped at home. I swear I didn't try to do a bad job.

They praise my end flaps. But then the stick-on bow falls off, the ribbon uncurls, and when we unwrap it - horrors - pieces of the box are missing, where tape pulled off a layer. Yes, I'm a box re-user.

I get a grade of C+.

What it takes

So, do you have to be handy with a scissors, or have a degree in geometry, to get hired to wrap gifts?

Mennecke said "no." All that's needed is a willingness to learn and follow the store's way of doing things.

Sometimes, you have to think outside of the box.

Betty Kurtz of Elburn has been wrapping for more than five years at the store.

"Our gift department is constantly supplying us with difficult things to wrap," she said, laughing. Silk plants, 6-foot-long framed art - "There's always some tall thing," she said. Those won't fit in the standard gift boxes, so they are likely to be wrapped in their shipping boxes.

Later, Kurtz points to a metal Santa-and-snowman yard-decor statue, about 48 inches tall, with a wooden base. "Somebody will buy this and want it shipped," she said.

"We have not had anything we could not wrap."

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