Solving auto crisis 11 minutes at a time
As our nation's retailers are fond of promoting, this is the time of year for gift giving. In fact, if you are to believe the news reports, it is the responsibility of the American consumer to spend at least 110 percent of their income on gifts to make sure Target and Kohl's have a joyous holiday season. Well, this year, I'd like to add General Motors to the list, but not with your proposed $25 billion. All I need is 11 minutes of interest on that $25 billion. Hell, that's less time than it took me to think of this clever e-mail.
I'm assuming GM's credit is a little shaky right now, but I'm in a giving mood, so I'll use an interest rate of 8 percent. Eight percent of $25 billion is still a pretty big number, but if you divide that number by 365 days, the daily rate is $5,479,452. This computes to an hourly rate of $238,310, which is almost enough to trigger Barack Obama's new tax on the "wealthy," and the computed per-minute rate is $3,805. Eleven minutes of interest is right around $40,000 - or roughly the cost of a new Chevy Traverse SUV. See how this works? I get $40,000, but only if I promise to buy a Chevy Traverse. With a check for $40,000, I don't have to take out an auto loan, which means I'll be able to honor my commitment to Target and Kohl's this holiday season.
With all of this potential comfort and joy, how can you say no? It will only cost you 11 minutes of your time. You can't go wrong!
David M. Miller
Bannockburn