Recession? Athletes sure not feeling it

What a relief to hear Tuesday that the Cubs re-signed pitcher Ryan Dempster.

For a while I thought I was going to have to provide him with financial advice.

I do that for professional athletes and, with a recession either here or looming, my schedule is full.

What do I tell them?

First I give them the old joke, "You have enough money for the rest of your life as long as you die by 4 o'clock this afternoon."

Then it's down to business: Try really hard to win Mega Millions or at the very least Lotto.

Stick that ticket in the scanner on the 7-eleven counter, say a prayer and mutter "baby needs a new pair of cardboard boxes to sleep in."

However, knowing how difficult it is to beat the lottery, I offer a backup plan.

If you can afford it, eat more fried foods and start smoking cigarettes. That way you'll give out before your retirement money runs out.

Ah, but now I can scratch Ryan Dempster off my to-do list after he agreed to a four-year, $52 million contract.

At least credit him for admitting, "It's more money than I could even dream of having, It's probably more than any of us deserves to be paid."

Dempster is a good guy. As Cubs general manager Jim Hendry indicated, he's somebody you could have a beer with, though now the $52 million man can afford champagne.

Which raises a question: Why didn't somebody send me a memo about the freakin' global economic slump ending?

Just kidding, of course. Even I'm financially savvy enough to know that professional athletics don't live in the same financial world the rest of us do.

At one time sports were a reflection of society. Then society became a reflection of sports. Now sports are a society unto themselves.

I awoke Tuesday morning to headlines that wept, "52,000 jobs to be cut at Citigroup." In the afternoon the news arrived that Dempster would receive $52 million through 2012.

Some symmetry, huh?

Then again, to get Dempster to sign, the Cubs gave him the option to forgo the contract's final year - you know, just in case he could get a better deal in a better place.

My goodness, the rest of us are concerned the economy will slump into a depression. Meanwhile, baseball appears to be recession-proof.

"I am assured our payroll isn't going to go down," Hendry said. "It's probably going to go up from last year."

Hendry himself recently was given a gaudy new contract by Cubs corporate parent Tribune Company, which is laying off newspaper employees at an alarming rate.

Obviously the public is finding it easier to ante up dozens of dollars to buy tickets for a ballgame than dozens of cents to buy a newspaper.

Anyway, baseball overall doesn't seem headed toward a soup line any time soon.

The Yankees reportedly offered free agent C.C. Sabathia $140 million over six years and others such as Mark Teixeira and Manny Ramirez also will command huge salaries.

"I don't think there's a doubt (Dempster) would have gotten more money on the street," Hendry said, failing to add its no street any of us live on.

Now excuse me while I go out for lottery tickets, a basket of onion rings and a pack of Camels.

mimrem@dailyherald.com