The ultimate bad occurrence
LOS ANGELES - There are no curses, jinxes or hexes.
Except when it comes to the Cubs, that is.
Some sort of supernatural force must be at work for a baseball franchise to go as long as the Cubs have without winning a world championship.
By the way, if you're scoring at home, as of Saturday night's 3-1 Dodgers victory, it's an even century of ignominy for the Cubs.
How fitting that Alfonso Soriano made the final out by failing to check his swing on a pitch in the dirt. That summed up the Cubs' offense in the series.
Listen, teams can quit hitting like the Cubs did while being swept out of the National League division series. Teams also can quit pitching and fielding.
But only the Cubs could do all that after not winning a World Series since 1908 or even playing in one since 1945. Only the Cubs could do that while suffering 9 straight postseason losses.
Cubs players said all along that the 100-year specter didn't weigh on them, but they sure played as if it did.
"Starting (the series) in Chicago might have been a benefit to us," Torre said. "There was a lot of pressure on (the Cubs)."
This season was especially inexplicable, considering the Cubs had the league's best record before collapsing in the NLDS.
"We beat a real good club," Torre said.
Seriously, what else could explain this Cubs' phenomenon but a compilation of killer B's - Billy goat, black cat, bad karma, biorhythmic irregularities and Bartman?
The counterargument is simply that the Cubs never have been good enough. The counterargument to that counterargument is that dummies have been elected president of the United States, Bob Dylan won Grammys with that voice of his, and "Ugly Betty" is beautiful to millions of TV viewers.
Heck, expansion teams like the Diamondbacks and the Marlins have won baseball championships. Small-market teams like the Royals, Reds and Twins have.
Yet the Cubs have gone a lifetime for most of us failing to win one. Other franchises couldn't do that if they tried to because they don't experience what Lou Piniella refers to as "Cubbie occurrences."
Think about this: The Dodgers are proudly celebrating their 50th year in Los Angeles, and the Cubs were only halfway through their title drought in 1958.
A columnist friend told me he wrote after the Dodgers' won Game 1 that curses didn't decide it, Ryan Dempster's 7 walks did.
But how does that happen after Dempster walked just seven batters over 30 innings during the entire month of September?
Curses, that's how.
My friend went on to point out the Dodgers are tough to beat now because they acquired Manny Ramirez in July.
But think about this: A team acquired the best current Babe Ruth available, and the Cubs just happened to draw it in the first round of the playoffs.
Curses, indeed.
Hey, Cubs fans, maybe it's time to just take pride that the Cubs went a century without winning a World Series.
That's a record for futility that doesn't figure to be matched as long as any of us are around. Perversely speaking, a parade and a party are in order.
Just be careful a black cat doesn't stroll in front of your float.
mimrem@dailyherald.com