Picking this rotation is no easy task

As the person assigned to pick the Cubs' starting rotation for the playoffs, my job has become more daunting than previously imagined.

Like, take this exchange Monday after Ted Lilly yielded 1 hit over 7 shutout innings to beat the Astros 6-1.

"Thank you for your time, sir," I told him. "We'll get back to you."

He looked at me with a great big question mark on his face.

"We have your application," I added. "We must perform our due diligence."

Lilly half-turned his head and scrunched his right eye as if to wonder what I was talking about.

"Don't call us, we'll call you," I said firmly. "I'll be busy putting Ryan Dempster, Rich Harden and Jason Marquis through the testing process."

It has become clear that sorting through these pitching resumes will be difficult.

During the weekend's two-day rain delay, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry and field manager Lou Piniella sat me down and spelled out in order the qualifications.

First, perfect games. Second, no-hitters. Third, complete-game shutouts. Fourth, no Cubbie occurrences. Fifth, a mix of common sense, gut feeling and the theory of relativity.

Victories go without saying because the Cubs don't figure to lose another regular-season game.

Carlos Zambrano laid claim to start Game 1 of the division series by pitching a no-hitter Sunday night against the Astros. Then Lilly nearly matched him.

The Astros went 15 consecutive innings without a hit against them. For a while the Cubs looked like they would be the first major-league team to pitch consecutive no-hitters.

The only question was how many consecutive.

Ah, but then Lilly collapsed in the seventh inning, yielding a single to Mark Loretta. He left after the inning, vulnerable to being passed by Dempster, Harden and Marquis.

Seriously, the competition among Cubs starters has become agonizing for Piniella, Hendry and me.

The process was supposed to begin by automatically scratching Marquis, but then he complicated matters by inexplicably pitching well.

Meanwhile, life would have been so much easier if Zambrano continued moaning about an aching shoulder, but he had to go and pitch that no-hitter as if his arm were bionic.

Harden? He could eliminate himself by going on the disabled list for the zillionth time in his career but declines to do so.

Everybody appears to be healthy and pitching well and intent on refusing to go quietly.

Boy, having too many quality starting pitchers sure is a problem.

As of now, Big Z is in unless three of the other four pitch two no-hitters apiece, or pitch one that's more artistic than his was, or pitch perfect games.

Lilly is a longshot this morning after foolishly giving up that hit to the Astros, along with a couple of other hard-hit balls.

Dempster, Harden and Marquis are expected to move ahead of him by pitching no less than no-hitters this week.

This is a meritocracy, folks, and the merit bar is a lot higher than it was 48 hours ago.

The task is tough, but I vow to pick the Cubs' best three or four starting pitchers for the playoffs.

Of course, somebody else is going to have to tell Big Z if he isn't included.

mimrem@dailyherald.com