'Righteous' kills interest in cop serial killer thriller

"Righteous Kill" works soooooooo hard to convince us that a certain character has been administering vigilante justice on the local scumbag population that you begin to wonder why you're watching, since you know the killer.

But smart, savvy crime drama buffs like you know the Hollywood rule of thumb: When all signs point to a character as the perpetrator - but you never see him actually perpetrating - it turns out to be someone else, right?

It's just like the other Hollywood rule of thumb that if a character falls off a cliff into raging waters - but you never see him dead - he'll pop up later in the movie, right?

Jon Avnet's flairless, dark "Righteous Kill" not only subscribes to the perpetrator rule, but to Gire's Whodunit Law that mandates a movie's "surprise" perpetrator must be a trusted confidant: the mentor or best friend or partner or sibling or parent.

Of course, some films subscribing to Gire's Law turn out to be polished pieces of entertainment, such as "Minority Report" and "Ghost."

This isn't one of those films.

Any time Hollywood giants Robert De Niro and Al Pacino reteam on a movie (they co-starred in "Heat"), it's cause for celebration. But not much. They're stuck in a torpid, passionless cop tale that not even their considerable bombastic talents can improve.

De Niro plays "Turk." Pacino plays "Rooster." The veteran New York cops are out to nab a serial killer who specializes in exterminating criminal worms in the Big Apple. At the scene of each crime, they find a card with a rhyme on it, explaining why the victim was killed. (Note to Dr. Seuss: You have nothing to worry about.)

Conveniently, every one of the murders happens in Turk's and Rooster's jurisdiction. It's also the turf of detectives Perez and Riley (John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg), who suspect their comrades could be the culprits. So does their commanding officer played by Brian Dennehy, who, at 70, might have been cast to make De Niro's and Pacino's marvelously craggy countenances look younger.

Meanwhile, Rooster and Turk talk, talk, talk to a department shrink in dull sequences offering little interest.

That leaves Carla Gugino to save "Righteous Kill" from total death by lethargy. She plays forensics expert Karen Corelli, a hot box of sexual energy who loves it so rough in the boudoir that her lover, Turk, barely survives trysting the night away with her.

The alluring Gugino doesn't steal this movie, but she does pump Corelli so full of raw estrogen and dark temptation that you wish this movie had been all about her, and retitled "Righteous Thrill."

"Righteous Kill"

1½ stars (out of four)

Starring: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg and Carla Gugino

Directed by: Jon Avnet

Other: An Overture Pictures release. Rated R for drug use, violence, sexual situations and language. 101 minutes.