Exercising together improves communication, builds intimacy

Sure, you could see a movie or enjoy a mojito at a rooftop hot spot. You could catch a free concert or stroll around a lake.

Or you could do what Cheryl and Jerry Rogers of New Richmond, Wis., did on a recent Friday, after entrusting their two young daughters to Grandma.

They locked arms back-to-back to feel one another's breathing. They bent and twisted, curled into balls and crawled on top of one another. They played an adult version of airplane.

But, Grandma, it's OK. Really. They were attending Yoga Date Night at the Yoga Center of Minneapolis and we have the video to prove it.

Yoga instructor Tanya Boigenzahn Sowards created the two-hour couples workshop as a way to get longtime marrieds out of their ruts, as well as to offer a fun and fresh alternative for daters, parents and children, or yoga buddies.

"The biggest question people ask me is, 'Do we have to have yoga experience?' " said Sowards, 35. "It is absolutely not necessary to have any experience."

You don't even need a yoga mat, as they'll provide one. What you do need is an open mind and an agreement that no matter what happens, you and your significant other will still drive home together.

"Communication is a huge factor," said Sowards, who is married and has a toddler. "People may argue. Sometimes, one of the couple can't bend forward. Or the husband is tall and the wife is short. Or she's flexible, he's not. So you have to alter the practice a little bit and find balance. You learn a lot about yourself, each other and how to build intimacy."

Building intimacy was precisely the goal for Michael and Julie Fink of Plymouth, Minn. Married for four years, with three young-adult children between them, the Finks saw in yoga date night an opportunity to deepen their relationship.

Both previously divorced, they say they're more conscious than ever about the work necessary to keep a relationship healthy. "We really make the effort to stay connected," said Julie, 52, a freelance writer and homemaker who has done yoga for 10 years.

"Couples yoga is something we'd like to continue to pursue," added Michael, 53, father of a 17-year-old girl. "Of course, my 200-plus pounds to (Julie's) 102 means I might have to stick to my diet if we're going to keep doing this."

One of the evening's highlights was watching Julie attempt to lift her husband above her head, airplane-style. Didn't happen. Didn't matter. "We were just giggles," Julie said. "We did it for giggles."

Most of the 16 largely lean and youthful couples participating would agree. While there was an occasional "You're going to drop me!" or "You're doing it wrong!," the reigning reaction of the evening was lighthearted laughter. At one point, Sowards lifted her yoga partner above her head with her legs and quipped, "This is something you can do at the gas station."

But the award for bravery, hands down, went to Erica Rivera, 27, and Brett Hoerner, 37. Rivera, a writer from Rosemount, Minn., and Hoerner, a St. Louis Park, Minn., technology consultant, were on a blind date. The two were fixed up by Sowards, who teaches them both and knew the two divorcees with young children were ready to start dating again.

But here? Wouldn't a coffee date be less awkward?

"So far, so good," said Hoerner after about an hour of mat work with the lithe and lovely Rivera. "I'm open."

A few days later, Rivera assessed her unusual first date.

"Honestly, the most awkward part was sitting face-to-face and having to maintain that eye contact," she said. Overall, though, she felt "pretty comfortable," adding that it didn't hurt that Hoerner "was very attractive. I was happy with the results."

The class has that happy effect on many people, Sowards said.

"It's great for couples to see each other from a different point of view," she said. "They really go for it. Then they go out to dinner and have fun. It really sparks things for them."