St. Charles woman reunited with father after 60 years

For more than 60 years, Diane DeDera has wondered about her dad.

What was he like? What was his name? What happened to him?

Then one day when the St. Charles woman walked out to get her mail, she started getting her answers.

The letter was from her father, Henry Kramer. In it, the Washington man wrote about the nasty divorce he and Diane's mother had gone through more than 60 years ago and how she wouldn't allow him - or his family - to see Diane. He also included his family history - a genealogy he had been working on that dated back to the 1600s.

At first, DeDera was angry.

She acknowledges the divorce - which happened when she was 1 years old - was a "nasty" one. She herself has been estranged from her mother for more than 20 years. Still, a letter from her dad more than 60 years later took her by surprise. She didn't know what to think.

But eventually she wrote back.

"Your letter begs forgiveness for something that happened over sixty years ago," the 62-year-old woman wrote. "I must say. I know there are at least two sides in a divorce. I've been there.

"The past is long gone. We live for today," DeDera concluded.

Her response was a pleasant surprise to a father who had tried and failed to reach her before.

"I could've fallen off the chair," said Kramer, who has no other children, of getting a reply to his letter.

Full circle

Considering the circuitous path of their letters, it's a bit surprising they even got to correspond.

Kramer had sent his letter to an old address a nephew from Lisle had given him for Diane. He put a fake name in the return address spot because he wasn't sure if his daughter knew his name or not. And if she did, he was afraid she wouldn't open it if she saw his name on the envelope.

The letter eventually reached her mailbox about a month after its postmark. She opened it and read the letter. But she couldn't make out the address on the envelope and had to call the post office in Auburn, Washington for help.

DeDera told her story to a postal worker named Sue, who helped track down the address and even called her the next day to follow up and make sure she got the information.

"If it had not been for her, it would have been really hard to find him," DeDera said. Since their first letter exchange there have been many more including Kramer's very first Father's Day card ("Isn't that a kick?" Kramer says) and DeDera's first birthday card from her father. They talk several times a week by phone.

And she got to meet him in person when she and her husband flew out to Washington in July to meet him and his wife, June.

Starting anew

At first, it was a bit awkward.

"He was ready to greet his daughter and I was like this is a perfect stranger," DeDera said.

But by the end of their five-day trip, the two had made a connection.

"I've never felt so loved in my entire life," DeDera said.

For Kramer, the trip lifted a weight off of him and brought him his daughter. He says he's gone from just having memories of taking his young daughter to the corner ice cream shop or watching her play with her doll to being able to talk to her and have a relationship.

"Fortunately it turned out to be quite wonderful," said Kramer. "We both love each other and that's very obvious when you see us together.

"I finally have (a daughter) I can see and hold and love," he added. "It will be a whole new experience for me. It should be quite exciting."

The two also discovered traits they share. DeDera figures she got her good eyesight from her father. And she can see where she got her good health from - at the age of 82 her father still lifts weights and is in excellent health. And she definitely has his nose and a little bit of his temper, Kramer said. The two think a lot alike as well.

"She's a bright young lady," said Kramer, who had a successful career as an engineer and speaks seven languages.

There are regrets - like not being able to be at her wedding and not getting to raise her. And then there's the phone call Kramer made to DeDera when she was 20. She had just had a baby, was going through her own marital issues and didn't know what to think. She hung up on him. He never called back.

"If you call someone up and they hang up on you you're not prone to redial," Kramer said.

Despite the past, the two are determined to move forward as father and daughter.

"We made a connection that just brought the last 60 years up front," DeDera said. And Kramer is excited to welcome his new family - which includes four grandchildren and five great grandchildren. DeDera and her husband will make another trip to Washington this week. And for the first time, Kramer will see three of his grandchildren.

"I started from nothing and had a whole family - all in one little letter," Kramer said.