How to dress for success in the air

Last week when I cleared security at O'Hare, I saw something you rarely see these days. An elderly woman was tying one on. I'm not talking about throwing a few belts back before boarding an airplane. I'm talking about her shoes. Apparently, she had not flown in years, and no one told her about the new rules. So the poor lady wore her oxford shoes for comfort and now she was leaning against a wall lacing them up instead of lacing her coffee with brandy, which I'm sure she would like to have done by the time she got to her aircraft.

In the same security line, a gentleman held up traffic because his belt buckle caused an alarming situation. It took several minutes before he got it, along with a couple of neck chains, removed.

The air traveler's uniform isn't what it used to be. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, before the days of deregulation, frequent fliers dressed like leaders of the Fortune 500. Women wore dresses with matching high heals. Men wore suits with black wingtips. Nobody worried about belt buckles and jewelry setting off alarms, because there were no alarms.

But all that has changed. Instead of dressing for an evening of fine dining and wining in the friendly skies, today's frequent flier dresses for what has become more like enduring a root canal procedure than a pleasurable journey. He dresses for survival not style.

In order to avoid the land mines at security, frequent flier, Dave Johnson, does his own body scan when he arrives at the airport. Any metal he's wearing - jewelry or belt buckles - goes into his carry-on bag. He puts his loose change in a plastic bag and adds that to his carry-on. He keeps his boarding pass in his hand - neck pouches no longer fly through the metal detectors. And, like other frequent fliers, he pays close attention to his wardrobe. Here's how to dress for security success:

• Wear slip-on shoes. A few weeks ago, when I flew out of Amarillo, Texas, a tour group, all wearing cowboy boots, arrived at security. They almost needed crowbars to get their boots off and on. One of them complained that overseas security agents didn't require him to remove his boots. Not all security is created equal. Many overseas destinations don't believe you have tiny bombs hidden in your wing tips. But we do. So even if you're wearing flip flops, expect to remove them.

• Wear socks. With millions of people passing through security barefoot, the thought of a foot disease should set off several alarms. When frequent flier Bobbie Gilmore travels, she packs a pair of slipper sox in her carry-on bag. If athlete's foot is not a souvenir you want to bring home, wear socks when you pass through the metal detector.

• Wear a sweater. When Mia Walker travels, she packs all coats and jackets in her checked luggage. But because she often gets cold when she flies, and blankets are rarely available, she wears a pullover sweater. So far, pullover sweaters don't unravel security agents. Wear a coat or a jacket and a security agent will make you strip.

• Wear a smile. According to frequent flier Johnson, if you smile at agents and act friendly, they'll usually return the favor. After all, a smile rarely sets off a metal detector - unless, of course you've had an extreme amount of dental work done. And even if air travel no longer has the same appeal, a smile is something we can all get our teeth into.

Gail Todd, a free-lance writer,worked as a flight attendant for more than 30years. She can be reached via e-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.