Life throws curve balls, but your community can help

Several years ago, I was sitting in a pre-surgery area of Loyola Medical Center, awaiting my overdue turn in the surgical suite. It was a major kind of surgery on my inner ear, but definitely not life-threatening.

Still I was nervous, anxious and wanted only for it to start so it could be over. Then, through my own turmoil, I could hear a conversation from across the room. I don't recall the details anymore, but I do remember telling myself that I should give myself a rest already, because the people across the room were facing a vastly different future than I was. Whatever their surgical news was, it was bad. Life-altering bad.

I've often thought about how life is a fluid thing. It has a tendency to throw curve balls, when we're expecting soft lobs. The woman who discovers, after her divorce, that her ex-husband's new amour is named ... Dan. The phone call comes out of the blue: Dad's in the hospital and it's not looking good. Another phone call: it's malignant. The doctor visit with Mom - that shortness of breath? Cancer has returned, and it's in her lungs. The marital woes mean divorce, not reconciliation.

And worst of all, in my own opinion - that niggling issue with your child has very, very serious conditions at its core.

"Life," a friend of mine said recently, "has a tendency to whack you alongside the head."

Fortunately, in this area, there are plenty of support groups that can help. Whether the issue is big or small, chances are that a group exists to offer a listening ear, a supportive shoulder. In addition, these groups - and let's not forget Web sites for a lot of organizations - also can provide valuable information.

There's the Living Well Cancer Resource Center, an affiliate of Delnor-Community Health System. This center provides resources and help of all kinds for those dealing with cancer (and is there a person in the Tri-Cities who hasn't been personally touched in some way by this scourge?) The center has educational programs, including a library of materials, support groups, even mind-body fitness offerings.

Delnor has support groups - they're free! - for people dealing with Alzheimer's disease, cancers of all types plus a support group specifically geared to breast cancer, diabetes, fibromyalgia, Parkinson's disease, perinatal and pregnancy loss, postpartum depression and the loss of a loved one.

Worried about an aging member of the family? TRIAD for central Kane County, spearheaded by local police departments (including Kane County sheriff's police), Geneva Township, Delnor-Community Hospital and Senior Services Associates, focuses, among other purposes, on increasing awareness of crimes against senior citizens and on educating seniors about safety issues.

For people struggling with alcohol issues, there are Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and Al-Anon/Alateen meetings for family members of alcoholics.

With the appearance of so many gambling venues, problems with gambling have flourished as well. Gamblers Anonymous is available to help those who think their fortune will be made via Lady Luck. Visit www.gamblersanonymous.org for details of meeting places, which include Hosannah! Lutheran Church in St. Charles.

Prairie State Legal Services - there's an office in Batavia - offers free legal services for low-income people and those more than 60 years old with serious civil legal problems.

There is help for those struggling with sexual abuse or thoughts of suicide. Mutual Ground in Aurora provides a safe haven for those women (and their children) making a break from spousal violence and abuse.

For those struggling with drug addiction, there's Breaking Free in Aurora and Naperville. There's also Hearts of Hope (the "Mom Squad"), which wants to educate the public about how alcohol and drug abuse impacts the entire family. The group offers support groups, treatment referrals, drug screening and other important programs. The office is at 13 S. Seventh St., Geneva.

Fox Valley Volunteer Hospice in Geneva offers a number of support groups led by trained facilitators, not to mention one-on-one short-term grief counseling and programs to deal with such life-altering experiences as death and suicide. There is even a family group for adults and children ages 4 to 18.

The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill has a local chapter for southern Kane County (call (630) 896-6264 or visit www.namidkk.org). A family support group meets in St. Charles at 7 p.m. on the first Thursday of the month, at Congregational United Church of Christ, 40W451 Fox Mill Blvd., St. Charles.

TriCity Family Services is a private, not-for-profit, community-based counseling agency that's "committed to building a healthy community by providing professional counseling services to the tri-city area." It provides counseling to children, adolescents and their families, plus counseling for adults who are dealing with a variety of problems, including depression, marital problems, post-divorce conflict, parenting, stress and domestic violence. Other programs focus on promoting successful social skills for kids and women's enrichment. And that's the tip of the iceberg for this gem of local agencies.

There are other agencies and support groups, naturally. This is just a smattering of the resources for those hurting and in need of help.

While I was never particularly fond of former broadcaster Joan Lundeen, I did like the name of a book she wrote: "A Bend in the Road is not the End of the Road." She offers "10 positive principles for dealing with change." I have no clue as to whether her suggestions are good or not, I just liked the idea that we can overcome life's challenges.

Because, yes, life throws curve balls. Big ones, that cause incredible, devastating pain. Fortunately, beyond the support of family and friends, there also is our community. And isn't that good to know?

That obstacle that just appeared? There just may be a way around it.