Officer Jerry O'Meara's victim impact statement

On Sept. 2, 2004, I was shot at the end of a long, narrow hallway while attempting to question Paul Grygo over an $8 bottle of vodka. Grygo answered the door with a fully loaded gun in his hand. Instead of talking with us, he chose to just open the door and shoot.

I saw Grygo raising the gun toward my head and had a second to decide which way to move. As I turned to my right, I heard the first shot and felt the bullet hit my left shoulder. My arm immediately became heavy but I knew I had to keep running to stay alive, even as he kept firing until the gun was empty.

I was transported by ambulance to the hospital. During that time, my two children and other family members had the police knock on their door to notify them I had been shot. When I arrived at the emergency room, I saw my family's faces filled with worry, concern and tears. I tried to hide the horrendous pain I was in and make light of what was happening so my children wouldn't be traumatized.

For the first six months, I was unable to do anything. My left hand and arm were totally useless. I couldn't perform the simplest of daily functions, such as dressing myself, going to the bathroom, bathing or sneezing without extreme pain. I attended physical therapy sessions two to three times a week for more than a year. Every day I had to wear specially designed devices in order to aid in my recovery. I made several trips to St. Louis, Missouri, to see a nerve specialist.

By the end of the first year, after all of the physical therapy and nerve surgery, I was told that I was never going to have full use of my left hand and arm again. I was told I could not return to the career I had spent my entire adult life working for.

Since the day I was shot, I have had to live with constant physical pain every waking moment and occasionally it will still wake me out of a sound sleep. There is not a day that goes by that I don't replay the shooting in my mind.

I also have to live knowing that I can never be a police officer again. I had to go from being a player in the big game to suddenly being told to go sit on the bench, you can never play again.

To this day, I am unable to fully use my left arm and hand. I am left with a 40-50 percent usage. I will never be able to play ball with my children because I cannot catch a ball in a mitt or swing a bat, go rock climbing, wrestle around and many other things we used to enjoy because of the extreme pain caused in doing so.

There are no brass bands, parades, job or money offers when a police officer is shot. All I have left of my career are a handful of medals and newspaper clippings. In fact, I lose several thousand dollars every year from having to retire on a medical pension. Money needed to live and prosper. Money to save for my children's future.