Airlines nickel and dime us to stay aloft

Have you noticed more people are getting a charge out of flying these days?

I don't mean they're experiencing unbridled joy from winging it to a new destination. Nor do I mean they're relaxing in pure bliss while flight crews attend to their every wish.

I'm talking about the fees the airlines are tacking on to tickets that keep them flying at 35,000 feet while their customers fly into rages.

Because of the drop-dead price of oil these days, the airlines are dropping like flies. So to keep them from going belly-up, they're passing their extra costs onto the flying public. Here are some of the ways you're keeping your favorite carriers up in the air:

By talking to a real person: When Tom Jury decided to fly to Atlanta, he tried to book his ticket online, but his Internet server was down and he couldn't connect. He chose to phone first. Tom said he spent a good 30 minutes listening to bad music before he spoke to a real person. Unfortunately, he couldn't understand her anymore than he could the music. Turned out, she was in India and probably couldn't find her way to Atlanta, but she could find a way to charge Tom for calling her. Tom discovered it would cost him an extra $20 to book by phone. He decided to wait until his modem was fixed. When he was able to book online, the ticket price had gone up $50.

By buying refreshments: We all know, when it comes to flying, there's no free lunch. But did you know those free drinks will soon be just a memory? US Airways plans to charge $2 for bottled water, fruit juice and soda. And if you decide to add a little spirit to your flight, alcoholic beverages will put you back $7 instead of $5.

By standing by for a flight: When Doug Wood travels on business, he books his return flight late in the day, but he often finishes with time to spare and stands by for an earlier flight. In the past, if there was space on the plane, he could board without paying a fee. Now that's changing. If you're traveling on a nonrefundable ticket, the carriers will still let you fly if there's space, but some of them will charge you for it.

By checking your luggage: When the airlines began to charge for checking a second bag after already charging a fee for overweight bags, passengers said it would never fly. Now those passengers will soon pay for checking their first bag. American Airlines started the trend with a $15 fee that affects tickets purchased on or after June 15. United Airlines and US Airways have matched the bag policy with their own twists. In all three cases, your bags are exempt if you fly on an elite-type ticket, but you should check with your carrier before you buy your ticket.

By using your frequent-flier miles: If US Airways' new policy sticks, redeeming a free-mileage ticket will become an oxymoron. One-way "free" tickets within the United States will cost you $25. Tickets to Canada and the Caribbean will sell for $35. And a trip across the pond will cost $50.

This is just the beginning. In past columns we've made jokes about the many ways the airlines could increase their profits. The scary part is most of them are now common practice. We now have advertisements on the drop-down tables, commercials with the in-flight entertainment and charges for soft drinks.

"You wonder how much more of this nonsense, passengers will take before they really get angry," said frequent flier Leland Wells. "When the meters go on the lavatory doors, that's when I stop flying."

Gail Todd, a free-lance writer,worked as a flight attendant for more than 30years. She can be reached via e-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.