Don't be taxed by U.S. Customs regulations

When Dorothy Burgess passed through U.S. Customs after returning from a trip to France, an agent thought he smelled a rat.

Actually, it was a chunk of gooey cheese Dorothy had purchased at a small shop in the Loire district.

Dorothy had planned to eat the cheese along with some crackers on the next leg of her flight. The agent confiscated the cheese. Clearly, it wasn't Gouda for her.

Dorothy isn't the only one to lose her lunch to customs.

A couple of years ago, after traveling to England, I watched a beagle work the crowd at a baggage carousel in Chicago. The pooch nosed in close to a red shoulder bag and fiercely wagged his tail. The owner, whose face soon matched her carry-on, assured the agent nothing illegal was in her bag. But the beagle continued to dog her.

The agent searched her tote and found an apple and turkey sandwich tucked into the bottom of the bag. The woman thought it was legal to bring food off the plane through customs. It isn't. She was lucky and got off with just a warning.

Steve Cross didn't lose his lunch when he returned from a trip to India. He lost his shirt.

Steve said the shirt was a one-of-a-kind article. He thought it qualified as original art, which is usually not taxed when brought into our country. Steve planned to frame it and hang it in his family room. But because the shirt was adorned with pieces of jade and ivory, customs would not allow him to keep it.

Customs' regulations can be confusing. Some items are strictly forbidden. Try to bring in fresh meats or fruits and you won't be left holding the bag.

Our government worries about foreign insects stowing away on an innocent-looking peach and introducing a new pest into our ecosystem. It's believed this is the way the fruit fly got its start in our country.

Some items are allowed, but only from certain countries.

When Ned Fogler went to Costa Rica he bought cigars to give to his friends at home. But when he passed through customs, his plans went up in smoke. The cigars were manufactured in Cuba. And products produced in Cuba are not allowed to enter the U.S.

Items that you're allowed to bring in might give you a charge. Sometimes as much as several hundred dollars.

When one traveler purchased a set of Waterford crystal from the Shannon, Ireland, airport duty-free shop, she thought she had a real deal. Until she got to customs. The goblets cost her close to $200.

Duty-free doesn't mean you're home free. It only means you don't pay the tax in the country of origin. But if you go over your personal exemption allowance our government set ($800 at present), you will pay duty, which is usually 10 percent of the value.

Some travelers like to live on the edge and see if they can get away with not declaring their goods.

One agent told the story about a woman who wrapped herself in a variety of meats. She had salami and prosciutto taped to her stomach. She was a walking delicatessen. But it was the several cans of foie gras wrapped in underwear in the bottom of her bag that really cooked her goose.

According to the agent, nobody questioned her thick midriff. They only became suspicious when they uncovered the hidden contraband in her bag. The woman was detained for several hours and paid a hefty fine.

"It's all about intent," said one customs agent, who says he sometimes lets an extra bottle of wine through when an innocent person admits to the purchase.

The government publishes a brochure that covers U.S. Customs rules and regulations. You can order a copy or download it from the Web site www.cbp.gov. It will help you avoid your return from overseas from becoming a taxing experience, both emotionally and monetarily.

Gail Todd, a free-lance writer,worked as a flight attendant for more than 30years. She can be reached via e-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.