Maybe Ozzie should be running more than Sox
As successful as the White Sox were the past week, Ozzie Guillen's management style is sure to spread.
Like, maybe to George Bush:
"I'm sick and tired of these gas prices, and if Congress doesn't do something by Tuesday I'm going down to the corner station and rip the '4' off $4.29 myself."
If Guillen were Bush, by midweek we'd be paying less for gas than the Saudis.
Then maybe to Sam Zell:
"The state better buy Wrigley Field in 48 hours because if it doesn't I'm going to Springfield on Tuesday and turn Blago's rear end into an ATM."
If Guillen were Zell, taxpayers would be paying for Wrigley renovations by next winter.
Finally maybe to Tom Skilling:
"I'm giving Jerry Taft until Tuesday to cancel that tornado or I'll go out there myself and blow it back to Oklahoma."
If Guillen were Skilling, Chicago would be San Diego within hours.
Seriously, a week ago today, the biggest White Sox issue was Guillen's rant that indicted him, the club's entire offense, hitting coach Greg Walker, general manager Kenny Williams, Babe Ruth, the Olsen twins and some guy whose name is Earl.
"I'm sick and tired to watch this thing for a year-and-a-half," was one of Guillen's softer proclamations. "I'm not protecting anybody anymore."
It isn't a recommended management style. Guillen alienated Walker, his former Sox teammate and friend of more than 20 years.
"We don't have to (talk)," Guillen said. "I'm excited for him. I know he sleeps well the last three nights."
Actually, everybody associated with the Sox' offense slept well all week after being awakened by Guillen or something else.
Their latest assault on opposition pitchers came during Sunday's 12-2 victory over Minnesota.
Since Guillen's tirade, the first-place Sox have gone 6-0 on a homestand that will end this afternoon against the Twins.
The Sox' run totals in those six games were 9-6-6-10-11-12 -- please, someone in the audience yell BINGO! They're spewing hits in quantities that make opponents scream MERCY!
"No," Guillen quickly said when asked whether the scoring outburst could be attributed to his harsh words.
OK, so maybe coming back home to Comiskey Park, warmer weather and vulnerable pitching is more responsible.
But come on, it's a much better story if Guillen's shrill voice led to Nick Swisher, Paul Konerko and the rest beginning to roll.
"We have talent here," Guillen said Sunday morning. "We have better talent than we showed."
Williams has been saying the same thing all along. Of course, one week doesn't make him correct, but the Sox sure did indicate their best is very good.
Assuming, of course, that it can't get any better.
"We were waiting for this," Guillen said after the Sox recorded 15 or more hits in three straight games for the first time since 1932. "When we broke (spring training), this is what I thought I was going to have."
Listen, Guillen's management style probably wouldn't succeed in politics, business or meteorology. The Sox might have started hitting because of him, in spite of him, or most likely neither of the above.
All that matters is the Sox are getting hits on bombs, bunts and bloops. Everything is falling into holes or flying out of the park.
George Bush, Sam Zell and Tom Skilling should be so fortunate.